Jane Reid
by crazy CM fan
Summary: Life isn't always easy or fair, but it can be if you give it a chance! (With Emily still on the Team!) Enjoy.
1. Prolog part one

'If someone was going to find out they were dead in the water. No…no they would be totally screwed' she thought when she stood in front of his Hotel Room and decided whether to knock or not. To whether destroy her marriage a little bit more or not, should she really do this? Well, know it was a little too late for that she had already done it; she had cheated on her husband.

It had started some months ago, they had went to a bar together to forget what they nearly saw every day and to pretend that they were normal, normal people, with normal jobs who only went on an after-work beer together. They drank something, told funny stories or jokes and made a bit fun of each other for a while it worked, they believed themselves.

* * *

_She had a Martini and later that night she won the bet against Emily about who could drink four Tequila shots the fastest without using hands. Garcia and Morgan were dancing, beside her Emily and Rossi where discussing over the best Scotch and JJ and Hotch seemed to be speaking of their boys. Alex was deep in thoughts and slightly flinched when Reid slumped down next to her._

_"A penny for your thoughts!" he said smiling and she shook her head amused._

_"Can I ask you something?" she chuckled and stole a peanut from the bowl in his hands._

_"You just did "he blinked and she grinned "What do you want to know?" she asked herself and reached over for another nut, her breasts streaked his arm and chest and when she leaned back she noticed the small blush._

_"Why are you here?" she gave him a questioning look._

_"Err…because I was invited like you?" she answered and he grinned sheepishly._

_"No I mean, you told me Thursday that James was home you never come with us when he his home, so…?" her smile faded and she then took a long sip of the beer she had now before she answered._

_"You just answered your own question" Alex replied without looking at him._

_"I don't-…Oh" he stopped and she nodded._

_"He didn't even unpack, they called and he was off to who knows where" she said "And I couldn't care less, so let's talk about something else, come on why are you not dancing with Morgan and Penelope?" he understood that she really didn't want to talk about it._

_"Have you ever seen me dance? I can't dance and I don't want to dance, I'm happy here with you and the nuts- you just have to ask I would share you know!" he said when she stole the next round of nuts from him._

_"No not really, I like it when you're blushing and now I would really like to see you dance but I don't think I'll see you dance today so...don't you know some funny things to talk about?"_

_He rubbed the back of his head because of her comment about him blushing "Well…Did you know that 23% of the damage of copy machines was caused by people who sat on it to copy their butt?" she didn't really thought that he would say something funny so she had taken a sip of her beer and regretted it she didn't know herself why she was laughing, probably because of the alcohol._

_"Was the Tequila already too much?" asked Emily grinning and handed her a napkin._

_"You wish! I was just surprised by a funny comment from Dr. Reid" she answered._

_"Oh, oh wait I have a pen write it down! Write it down! We have to remember this day were Dr. Spencer Reid said something funny, on purpose!" teased Emily and they laughed. They enjoyed the rest of the night together and for the first time in at least a month had no psychopaths on their minds. The first who left was Hotch and then JJ as both wanted to do something with their family the next morning and half an hour Spencer decided to leave too._

_"Well I'll go now too, I need to get up early because I want to go to a Lecture"_

_"Oh Reid you're incorrigible, but have a nice day! See you Monday" said Emily gave him a hug._

_"I'm also calling it a night" Alex said and stood up._

_"Isn't it usually the man that helps the woman getting home save than the other way around?" asked Morgan and Alex rolled her eyes._

_"Do you want me to tell everyone what that woman said to you half an hour ago?" she asked and he looked at her surprised. "I can read Lips" with that she waved and together she and Reid left the bar while Garcia and Emily questioned Morgan._

_"Since when can you read lips?" he asked when they walked out and Alex grinned._

_"I can't but it was obvious that she had turned him down and said something embarrassing judging his reaction" she said he chuckled._

_"Well…good that I only live four Blocks away from here" he said to have a conversation._

_"Wow so now I have four blocks where you can protect me from the bad boys" she said and he needed a second to understand._

_"Hey!" she laughed and then nudged him in the side._

_"I'm sorry" she said._

_"Don't worry I'm used to it" he answered._

_"I know, but sometimes it's too much, you're not some silly little boy who needs a Babysitter you're a grown man why don't you talk back sometimes? Just because we're all friends doesn't mean we're allowed to over walk you like this" she said and sighed._

_"You're sure you okay? Because I know that kind of sigh from you-"_

_"I'm only a little cold and wish that I had a put on a thicker jacked" she said and a moment later he laid his around her._

_"Spencer I don't need your jacked" she said and before she could take it off he stopped her._

_"It's okay, are you going to tell me know why you're are sad?" he asked and she stopped slightly surprised and then started walking again._

_"I- do you know how lonely I am? What it feels like when your husband comes home after five months in the nowhere…five damn months and he comes home and you know- I did everything for a nice evening, spend hours in the kitchen and he didn't even unpack he took a shower and came back down told me they said it was an emergency and that they need everyone back and the next thing I'm looking at is the closed front door, do you know what that feels like?" she said and looked at her feet._

_She normally wouldn't have told him, but she was so angry and hurt and lonely. She was often away herself but not for months and when she was here she did everything for them, but she wasn't sure if they really could manage their "marriage" anymore, she didn't want to come home to an empty house anymore, to know that he didn't even look at her twice._

_"I'm sorry Alex I didn't know" she shook her head._

_"That was my intent" Alex answered._

_"That's really stupid of him you know? I- if I was him than I would never leave you, at least not for such a long time" Spencer said and she smiled._

_"That's really sweet of you Spencer" he smiled back and they walked in silence. When they were at his apartment building she took his jacked off and handed it back to him._

_"Well...when James isn't home I guess I could lend you my original of A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway" he said and she stared at him for a Moment._

_"You…have an original of A Moveable Feast? Since when?! Why haven't you told me earlier?" she asked._

_"You never asked" he replied and she hit him playfully on the shoulder._

_"You would really lend it to me?"._

_"Sure why not? If you were Morgan than it would be something else" she followed him up to his apartment and stepped inside, like she expected it, the whole apartment was full of bookshelves. He handed her the book and she smiled again._

_"Well another lonely night with a book…thanks Spence" she said and turned to leave but tripped, Spencer quickly reached out and pulled her over to prevent her from falling. Alex blushed and for a moment she thought he would laugh but he didn't instead, he just held her close she looked up and for the following thing neither of them had a rational explanation, maybe she did it because she was tired of being left behind and feeling unloved._

_They only leaned closer to each other and their lips touched in a gently kiss, it only lasted a couple of seconds before they separated, but then he leaned in and laid his lips to hers again, this time it was with a little bit more passion. 'This is wrong! You're kissing your colleague!' shot through her head and she broke the kiss again._

_"We can't do this…it's-" Spencer stopped her with another kiss._

_"I don't care" he said 'and neither do you!' said a voice in the back of her head and she pulled him down for another kiss hungry for more. He laid his hands around her waist and pushed her against his door whilst Alex laid her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. They weren't allowed to do that, they were colleagues within the FBI, she was way older than him, both had drank something and it was wrong, really, really, wrong. But it felt right and when it felt right, could it be wrong?._

* * *

Yes it could, but back then, when they had slept together for the first time, they had never thought that it would happen again. And now it was a regular thing that one of them sneaked out in the night to meet each other for sex.

She was still standing in front of his door; she had to decide fast, if someone actually saw her standing here than it would be a little complicated to explain that. Her heart raced, she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, the damage was already done she couldn't change it now. She wasn't the first woman who had an affair so she lifted her hand and knocked.

It only took him a couple of seconds to answer the knock and open the door. Spencer smiled and stepped aside to let her in, the files of the current Case were scattered all over the table and a map of the City was pinned to the wall.

"You found something?" she asked when he took her blazer off.

"Oh-…err no I only looked through it while I waited for you" he said, her heart was still racing and she didn't know why, it wasn't like they hadn't done this before.

His lips pressed to her neck and she swallowed and she bit her lip while his hands lay around her and pulled her closer to him. Alex leaned into him and Spencer's hands wandered up her body over her breasts before he unbuttoned her blouse, his Lips never left her neck sending pleasant chills down her spine.

She turned in his arms and kissed him; he quickly responded to her actions and brushed in tongue against her lips, which she opened with pleasure. He tasted sweet, like he always did because of the surely unhealthy amount of sugar he drank his coffee with. She ran her hands down her chest and then under his shirt and pulled it over his head.

Spencer kissed his way down her jaw over her neck and to her cleavage while he walked to the bed. Before he could push her down, she spun around and he found himself be pushed down on the mattress, he placed his arms on her waist and pulled her close while Alex sat on his lap and kissed him fiercely. His hands took her blouse off and threw it somewhere in the room before they ran over the skin of her back to open her bra and make it follow her blouse seconds later, he flipped them over so she was under him.

* * *

When they lay next to each other, breathing heavily, Alex pillowed her head on his shoulders and thought about what just had happened. She had nearly screamed out his name, she had to force herself to not scream out his name, she had never done that before! Why now? What was wrong with her? Why was she doing this? She knew it was wrong more than wrong, his fingers gently stroked over her arm and Alex pulled the thin covers up over her chest. What they were doing was wrong, what did they expect to come out of this? She was married!

'To a man who never even looks at you, when was the last time he had laid his arm around you like this, after he had slept with you and never cared if you enjoyed it too? When did you feel loved and protected in his arms like you do in Spencer's now? It has never been like this with him'

She didn't want to leave his embrace, she never did, when he held her like this the time always stopped, but reality came fast. This was forbidden and wrong, suddenly she felt dirty, used, but what did she expect? They had arranged it like that themselves; it was only sex, amazing sex but nothing more. She had curled up beside him and didn't notice the tears ran down her cheeks.

Spencer was simply happy and enjoyed the rare moment when one of them stayed longer, he maybe even liked this moment more than the actual sex, though it was great, afterwards was the moment were he could pretend that it was more than only sex. Then he felt something wet against his chest and he looked down to see the tears on her cheeks, 'Had he done something wrong? Had he hurt her?!' he thought and turned towards her.

"Alex? What's wrong? Did I do something wrong or hurt you?" he asked and a small smiled washed over her lips as she whipped the tears away.

'He always thinks it's his fault' "No…I'm sorry" she said and turned away to stand up and gather her clothes from the floor and started to dress; he watched her and narrowed his eyes.

"Alex you're okay?" he asked and looked for his boxer shorts before he stood up.

"No, I'm fine, I'm fine" she mumbled whilst she closed the buttons of her blouse "We need to stop doing this Spencer" she said and looked at him.

"W-Why?" asked and held her back.

"Why?" Spencer we are working together if someone is going to find out they- we're in deep trouble!".

"But- I-I don't care and statistically-"

"For God's sake for once, stop with these damn statistics! We are not a statistic Spencer!" she said loud and instantly regretted it.

"Sorry" he said quietly but Alex shook her head.

"Don't be I am sorry Spencer" she said and left. He still stood in the middle of the room. He ignored the disappointment in him and lay back on the bed staring at the ceiling. Why wasn't he simply telling her that he felt more for her than this, that he didn't want her to leave?. But he couldn't as long as he didn't tell he could live with the fantasy that they could be together, that she would leave her husband. After this he knew it wouldn't happen.

When he turned around he felt something could press against his skin, he looked back and reached for the little object, it was her necklace, he watched as the heart shaped pendant turned around, it was small, one side of the heart was out of white gold and the other side was only the frame, set with little diamonds. He wished he could tell her what she really meant to him, more than the chance for sex, he was in love with her.

* * *

They didn't meet each other for weeks but then it happened again, he hadn't complained, he never would, though she had said that they wouldn't meet again, she came by after a particular bad case.

She buried her face in her hands when she lay beside him and had pulled the covers over her again. 'Shit, shit, shit you shouldn't have done this!' she had promised herself she wouldn't do this again and she knew that with every time she would be a little bit less able to resist, what she really wanted, the one thing she wasn't allowed to be, being with him.

"Why don't you stay?" he asked, when she started to search for her clothes again, "James isn't home and its Saturday you don't need to leave" he added.

"Yes I do" she answered and hooked up her bra before she put on her shirt he stood too and held her back.

"Why not? Answer me Alex" he said.

"Because I don't know if I can leave again if I don't go now!" she said.

"Then stay, why don't you stay? I don't want to keep doing this Alex, not like this! You're not just someone to- to use Alex I lo-"

"No, don't say this Spencer please don't say this! No, I- we said this was nothing more and it gets out of control! We need to stop before it's too late and- I won't meet you again for this"

"You said so the last time and look who's trying to find all her clothes after having sex with her colleague again" he said "And now she runs back to her empty house she has with a man who's even less home than her and with whom she is desperately unhappy" he said and stared at her, Alex looked away and ignored the tears burning in her eyes. He was right, he was right and she was mad at herself because she couldn't do anything about it. He ran his hand through his hair.

"Alex I'm-" she stopped him.

"Don't…your right, but it doesn't change anything I am really sorry Spencer, I never intend for this to happen" she said and grabbed her jacket and left.

* * *

He saw how the Priest aimed his gun in Alex's direction and she was still trying to pull the wounded Sheriff out of the way and not seeing the danger 'No! Not her!' he jumped forward and pushed her out of the way. He saw her surprised face and then something hit him in the neck, a sharp burning pain shot through him and the only thing he saw before she stumbled back was her expression which changed from surprise to shock.

Now it was her who pushed him out of the way and behind the police car where she kneeled beside him and pressed her hands on the wound on his neck. "No, no, no, no Spence! Look at me, stay awake okay? Please stay awake, eyes on me!" she said and doubled the pressure on his neck.

"Al-…Alex- I love-" she silenced him with a quick kiss.

"Don't you dare to try to say good bye to me! You'll be fine again!" she said, "Emily! Emily! We need a medic! Fast! Spencer was hit!" she screamed and then her colleague appeared next to her.

"Oh no…keep him awake! I'll get the medics!" she said and ran off again. Spencer looked at her and his eyelids fluttered close and a strange sound escaped his lips.

"No, Spencer, stay awake you need to stay awake! Okay? You'll be fine again! Don't you dare to go, if you go I swear I'll never tell you what I feel for you, you hear me?!" Alex said in his ear, before she could say something; a paramedic was sitting next to her.

"Ma'am you need to make room!" she nodded and backed away as soon as he had his hands on hers to hold the pressure on his wound. She stood up and looked around the shooting was over Emily and JJ ran over to her.

"Where's Morgan!?" Alex asked.

"He was also shot- Don't worry he's okay!" in this Moment he came in sight behind them, trying to shoo a paramedic away.

"If you don't go now I'm going to get uncomfortable!" he said and walked over to them.

"They are about to leave, you should ride with them!" JJ said and Morgan nodded, Alex bit her tongue to stop herself from saying out loud that she wanted to ride with Spencer.

"I'll drive after them!" she said and walked to the next Officer "Excuse me could you drive me to the hospital?" he nodded.

"Sure" he said and got into the car. 'He's not going to die; he's not going to die!' hammered through her head she sat in the car and stared at her shaky, bloody hands.

"Ya alright?" asked the Officer, she swallowed.

"Would you be? I'm as alright as I can be after I saw how my colleague got shot" she answered and was silent for the rest of the ride and when they arrived at the hospital she got out without saying anything. She somehow didn't like these people, none of them.

She waited in a waiting room and a nurse had handed her Spencer's things in a "Patients belonging's Bag". How she hated hospitals for hey they meant death, nothing else. She sat there her hands were still bloody and suddenly when she smelled the blood, his blood, her stomach turned upside down and she jumped up to find a woman's restroom, luckily there was one near the waiting room. She barely made it into a bathroom stall, before she emptied her stomach.

'He had nearly died; he maybe was dead because of her, damn it why had he done this? If it was his neck, it would have been your head! You would have been dead…rather me than him' she though.

Alex whipped her mouth with a piece of toilette paper and then quickly held her hands away so she wouldn't smell the blood again. She leaned back against the wall of the stall and flushed before she took some deep breathes.

Alex got up and walked over to the sinks where she washed her hands and as soon as they were clean she splashed some water in her face and washed her mouth.

"Alex?" she flinched back and saw Emily standing in the door, "Hey, are you okay?" she asked concerned. Alex used the time while she dried her face with a paper towel to think about what she should say.

"I'm okay".

"No, I don't think so Alex" Emily said and walked closer.

"Could you explain to me how you're supposed to know how I feel?" she asked and was a little bit more snappish then she intended to be, but Emily only smiled.

"Oh maybe because I saw you sneaking out of Spencer's Hotel Room some weeks ago and it was pretty obvious what you've been doing- calm down I didn't tell anybody and I won't" she said when Alex stared at her shocked. She had the feeling that she had to throw up again and her grip on the sink tightened.

"This couldn't be any more embarrassing" Alex said and for a second she covered her eyes before taking it away again because she still could smell the blood.

"Alex it's okay-"

"What? Everything is far from okay Emily! I had an affair with a younger colleague who just took a bullet in the neck for me to save my life, I should be in there! Or maybe dead! But not him Emily, not him!...He pushed me out of the way"

"Just because he isn't a Morgan or Hotch, it doesn't mean he wouldn't do everything for the people he loves: That's why he did it, he couldn't live with himself knowing that he could've saved you Alex…and Spencer Reid doesn't only have an affair" Emily said.

Alex shook her head "You don't say…I- we should go" and she walked out leaving Emily behind who shook her head, she was so obvious in love.

* * *

When they stepped into his apartment he switched the lights on and Alex walked over to his sofa to place his bag down on it. She walked back and his hand found hers and she spun around and stared at him.

"How could you do this?! How could you do this to me? You nearly died because of me! Why did you do it? Damn it Spencer I thought you-…do you know how much you scared me?" she said loud and he squeezed her hand.

"I couldn't let him hurt you Alex, I would do it again" he said. She nodded.

"I know, that's why I'm scared Spencer, please never do that again, don't put your life in line for mine it's not worth it-"

"But it's worth it for me! How can you say something like that, Alex I love you that's why I did it and I want to be with you".

"Why? What could I possible give you what no other woman could? A relationship with me could even cost you your job! And what are you going to do then? This job is your life, you love this job I won't be the reason you'll lose it! But it won't work, this job- the BAU isn't made for Love, I won't be the woman left behind again I already have that and you know how Hotch ended up Spencer. No I won't do this to you…I can't do this to you. You should be with a woman your age, who…who can give you kid's, a family what you always wanted and a nice life Spence, you need to forget me"

"But I don't want to forget you! Why should I want to be with another woman who may not even exist because I can count my relationships on one hand, how am I supposed to find a woman who understands me like you do? Nobody's going to understand our job, what it means to work there, who isn't part of the BAU I'm more likely going to end like Hotch this way then when I am with you…and-and you're not happy in your marriage with James! Why won't you let me make you happy? I know you feel the same way about me!"

"Yes I do! Of course I do, I fell in love with you months ago because you make me happy, you make me feel loved and protected and alive, but you're the reason why I can't go home and pretend that I'm in a marriage anymore! You're the reason I can't do this job anymore because every time we're out in the field I pray that nothing is going to happen to you and...you nearly died because of my stupidity and after that I was not only not able to do my job, I didn't want to do my job because of you, because I feel more for you than I should and if we don't stop now it will get one of us fired someday or worse killed"

"Alex…I won't be sorry for this, I won't be sorry for saving your life and I certainly won't be sorry for being the reason that you see that your husband is the biggest Idiot I ever knew, you say I should forget you? I can't! We work together and I cannot ignore these feelings when I'm going to see you nearly every day!" he said and pulled her in his arms she hugged him back and buried her face in his chest.

"I'm sorry for doing this to you" she said quietly and he lifted her head to kiss her, she kissed him back knowing that it wouldn't happen again anytime soon, if ever. For her it was a goodbye kiss. Alex pulled back and laid her hand on his cheek "You need to rest I'll go now Spencer, promise me that you'll try to get over this" he laid his and over her and gently squeezed it.

"Okay" this was all she needed. She held his hand as long as she could before she walked out his door and down the stairs she looked back and saw that he watched her. Spencer waited and then went to look out the window he saw her getting in a cap; he would not give up on her!

**This is part one of the Prolog, be gentle this is just a Idea that came to my head and that needed to get out! ;) After the whole Prolog it's going to be more like some Family One Shots from different POV's of Spencer, Alex and Emily I hope you still like it! ****You probably already noticed that Emily is still part of the BAU and never left, she is going to play one of the bigger roles in this story :) And if you want you can choose someone she is going to be with like Hotch or Morgan^^**

**Please leave a Review and tell me what you think!**

**crazy CM fan**


	2. Prolog part two

Alex took a deep breath and stood up; she walked up to his Office and knocked. "Come in!" Alex stepped into Hotchs Office and closed the door. "What can I do for you Blake?" he asked and she needed a moment to form her next words, but it was enough time for Hotch to look at her questioning.

"I…I want to be transferred from the BAU to a post in the DC Office, I already sent my application over they want me, I have my resignation here and all I need is your consent" she said and his expression went from questioning to somewhat surprised.

"...I'm sorry this is rather fast, you sure there is no other way? Maybe I could help, is there a problem with someone on the team?" he asked and Alex shook her head. 'If you think having an affair with someone on the team is a problem then yes I have a big problem and now I have an even bigger problem' she thought.

"God no, Hotch this team is wonderful I like you guys…but let me be honest with you in the moment I'm not able to do my job professionally not because of the thing with Reid but…because I like you guys more than colleagues and I need to get my life back and I think I can only do this if I take a time out. I don't want someone else to get hurt because I can't focus" she said and handed him the piece of paper.

"If this is really what you want…I'll be honest too I don't want to let you go, but it's your choice, hopefully you can get your life back I know best what this job can cost you, I wish you good luck Blake, I manage the rest from here on, I think you might be able to go in a couple of days maybe at the end of the week when everything is smooth sailing. You should tell the rest of the Team or do you want me to-?"

"No, I want to do it myself that much I owe them, but thank you Hotch" she smiled and he stood up to shake her hand.

"We'll miss you, I can't promise anything but I'll do my best when you should decide to ever come back" he said.

"I appreciate that" Alex said and walked out of his office she nearly ran into Rossi who only needed a moment to understand.

"Don't tell me what I think you want to tell me, I saw that looked often enough" he said and stopped when she didn't answered he sighed. "When?".

"I don't know exactly, they really want me to start in DC and Hotch only needs to do the paperwork…I think by the end of the week" she answered and smiled a bit.

"Is this because of Reid? Cause you know-"

"No, well not really that was only the last straw that broke the camel's back I need to get my life back in order but you with your three ex-wives should understand how well that goes as a part of the BAU" she said.

"Damn this job really sucks sometimes; it breaks only the good people"

"Now you're exaggerating and hey I'm only 30 minutes away in a better Bureau with my own Office, decent hours and no spontaneously calls" Alex said grinning and also Rossi smiled.

"Gonna miss you"

"I'm not gone yet" she smiled and he nodded, she walked to her desk and then changed her mind and walked to JJ's Desk where said owner of the desk, Emily and Morgan talked about something.

"Guy's?".

"What's up Alex?" asked Emily.

"Wow, that's kinda hard…I only wanted to give you heads up that I probably won't be here by the end of the week, I resigned from the BAU" their faces fell.

"What? Why?"

"Before you say it no it's not only because of the shooting in Texas-"

"Where is she!?" called somebody and they turned around to see Garcia storming towards them "How can they do this! They can't transfer you to DC they can't take you away! It wasn't your fault-"

"Garcia! Garcia stop they didn't force me out I resigned…how you can even know? I just told Hotch" Alex said.

"Well I, maybe get a note when something changes in the files of our Team…but you can't go!"

"I can and I will, I need to repair the damaged I've caused and I don't think I can do this while I'm always here on call and I'm only thirty minutes away in DC and I'm at least going to be here for the rest of the week! So please don't make this any harder than it already is" she said.

"Did you tell Spencer?" asked Emily with a knowing undertone in her voice and Alex sent her warning glance.

"Yes I told him when I brought him home".

"You wanted to leave since nearly two weeks?" asked JJ.

"Wanted is an elastic term, I need to leave for a while, I'm not focused on the job and I don't want to get somebody hurt…again" she said and was then hugged by Garcia, it took her a second but then she hugged her back.

"Well I hope it's going to help you, really" said Morgan truthfully and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"I hope so too".

* * *

Two days later she cleared her desk and her locker before she would finally leave for an unknown time. She knew it wasn't fair to Spencer but she too knew that he wouldn't let her go, for the both of them it was the only way they could maybe forget each other. With that in her mind she placed her last things in the box in front of her and closed it.

"Well now I call it official" she turned around and saw the whole team standing there minus Reid, she grinned. Well at least they didn't take her into a bar that would have been a little bit difficult.

"Really?" she asked.

"Hey nobody goes here without a proper goodbye" Rossi said and Garcia stepped forward with a little present in her hands and handed it to her.

"That really wasn't necessary" she said smiling but opened the present, it turned out to be a framed picture of the team. "Wow…thank you" she said and hugged them all.

"Just promise you won't forget us that fast" Garcia said and Alex snorted amused.

"How could I ever forget Family?" she asked. They promised to meet sometime for a drink or two and Emily volunteered to help her with the two boxes, Alex knew that Emily still wanted something from her.

"You gonna ask me now?" she asked outright.

"Did you really tell Reid? Because if you had, he would be here and chained you to your desk" she sighed.

"No, I didn't at least not really…yes he would do that and I don't know if I would've left when he was here, I'm doing this for him".

"You really think disappearing without an goodbye is going to help him?".

"Would it help him if I would stay, we continue with what we have and maybe both get fired? No thank you…and I didn't leave him without a Goodbye, don't think that it was only fun without feelings" Emily raised an eyebrow.

"Oh my, you fell for Spencer!" she said grinning and nudged her in the side chuckling.

"Emily?".

"Yes?".

"Shut up" Emily only chuckled even more. 'Oh if they only knew why she was also leaving'

* * *

Spencer still had three days left of his break but he needed to talk to Alex who hadn't answered one call from him in the last couple of days. So he decided to go to the BAU and talk to her, he did not care if Hotch or who else could hear them, they needed to talk again. When he stepped out of the elevator and walked into the Bullpen he saw that no one of the team was there, so he walked up to Hotchs Office.

"Hotch?" said looked up and laid the pen away.

"Reid what are you doing here?" Hotch asked.

"I'm not here to get back to work, it's unnecessary but I'll manage the last three days too, could you tell me where Blake is? I need to talk to her" Hotch narrowed his eyes.

"Reid…Alex resigned a week ago she doesn't work here anymore, I thought she told you" his face fell.

"What? But- no she, did she leave because of me? Or-" he looked outside to her desk but he saw that Hotch had to be right, her desk was empty.

"She didn't leave because of you but-"

"I need to go" Spencer said and walked out of Hotchs Office and to the elevator he didn't look back. He couldn't believe it she just left? She thought he could forget her when she just disappeared? He couldn't believe that she had really done this. When he stumbled out of the Elevator he nearly walked into Emily.

"Spencer what are you doing here?" she asked surprised to see him here.

"Did you know that Alex left the BAU?" he asked.

"Yes…we all knew".

"And no one bother to tell me?!" he asked.

"Spencer we wanted to give you some time off and Alex told very body that she told you, I only knew she didn't because I knew of your affair…are you-"

"Don't ask me if I'm okay how am I supposed to be okay? She just-"

"Did the right thing and the only thing so you wouldn't lose your job, you should have never started this you-"

"Why is everybody trying to tell me what to do, I can decide for myself you know? And you seriously wonder why I started this, she was the only one who didn't talk to me like I was a child…and now she just walked out on me like everybody else thank you very much but I'm not okay…she made me promise to try to get over this, but I don't want to!" Spencer said.

"You know that this wasn't easy for her and that she did this so you could stay on the job and -let's be honest- don't get each other killed on the field, do you actually know how scared she was? And she wasn't even allowed to show it…Spencer this was ill-fated from the beginning" Emily said and Reid walked away without answering. Once he was outside and alone he pulled her necklace out of his pocked, his mind told him that Emily was right, but his heart told him a whole different thing.

* * *

It was a little over half a Year since Alex had left the BAU. Hotch found a new Colleague for them named Kate Callahan, they couldn't have gotten someone better she was nice and they all liked her. The only one who had had some problems with her was Reid, it was hard for him the first few weeks but as time went by he grew to like her though you could easily tell that he was still heart broken and the only one who really knew why was she, Emily.

And that was why she was standing in front of the DC Office in which Alex was working. In the past months they had only held contact over the phone as neither they nor Alex had found the time to meet. But it was time that she would get Spencer out of his 'I don't care about anything' attitude; at some point Hotch had even dared to take him out of the Field. It had been that bad that she had the feeling that he could slip back into his addiction and before that happened, she had to bring Alex back to at least talk to him.

She walked into the Building and to the reception counter. "Excuse me could you tell me where the Office of Alex Blake is?" she asked friendly and the man nodded.

"Yes just give me a second…I'm sorry Ma'am but there is no Alex Blake working here" he said "You're sure that was the name?" Emily looked at him surprised, she could've left!.

"Err…yes! I was working with her half a year ago and she was transferred to this Bureau" she said.

"Well there must be a mistake then" he said.

"No she-" she wouldn't have left.

"Sorry, I couldn't help but overhear" a woman said behind Emily "I think she means Alex Miller! She was known as Blake until two- three months ago, her office is on the eighth Floor across form mine I could take you up" she said and Emily nodded still surprised.

"Thank you" she said and both walked to the elevators.

"I'm Agent Sarah Parker and with whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?".

"I'm Agent Emily Prentiss".

"Do you know why she is called Miller now?" Emily asked, what the hell was going on?.

"She had a divorce, it was ugly, her ex threw her out she stayed with me until she had something on her own again. Divorce okay but throwing someone out in her state is just beneath contempt".

"You're kidding! She never told us anything" she said more to herself than to the woman beside her.

"How do you know her?" asked Parker as they got into an elevator and pushed the button for the eighth floor.

"I'm a friend and former colleague within the BAU".

"Well I can't blame her; I don't think I would have told my old friends whom I was trying to show that I can life without them" Agent Parker said. When they reached the eighth floor they got out and Parker showed her the way to Alex's Office.

"Here we are, it was nice meeting you" Agent Parker said and they shook hands and then Parker walked to her own Office while Emily knocked on the door in front of her saying "Agent A. Miller".

"Come in " said the well-known voice and Emily opened the door, the Office was not very big but nicely done up and the person she was looking for stood at file cabinet with her back facing the door, Emily smiled. Alex turned around still looking at the file and Emily's eyes widened and her mouth dropped as she looked at the big baby bump of Alex Blake, no Miller!

"Oh my God! You're pregnant?" she asked loud and startled her so much that Alex sent the file in her hand flying through the air.

"Emily! W-what are you doing here?!" Alex asked and looked at her nearly as shocked as she must look herself.

"I came by to surprise you and talk to you…" Emily said her eyes were still glued to Alex's stomach.

"And you couldn't call?!".

"Well it should be a surprise Agent Miller and what would you have done if I had called? Talked to me constantly turned away?" Alex opened her mouth and closed it again.

"Oh my…you are really pregnant" she said and couldn't believe her own words.

"Wrong Dr. Watson I like walking around in a whale costume" Alex said sarcastically and then looked at the file "Oh Damn, it's going to take me hours to get that in the right order again".

"Excuse me but-…Holy Shit…Alex don't you tell me Spencer is the father!".

"Why would my ex-husband throw me out and divorce from me when it was his Baby?" Emily's mouth dropped again.

"He really threw you out? Like in-"

"I call it being thrown out when you find the divorce papers and your bags in front of the house after you came home from your Doctor's appointment where you've been told that the chance that you can keep your baby is over 70% because you managed to get into the second trimester" Alex said and slowly crouched down to pick up the papers.

Emily walked to her side to help her "Why didn't you tell anybody?".

"And what was I supposed to say? Hey I'm pregnant with Spencer's Baby? Or take a year off without saying why? It's even a wonder Garcia didn't sniff it out by now…" she said and stood back up and stroked over her side, Emily couldn't help but smile a bit.

Alex looked on her watch and sighed "Could you please wait down stairs for me for the next ten minutes? Then it's four and I'm finished for today, I can't afford leaving early from work I need every Penny" she said and Emily nodded.

"Okay "she said and left, she had expected much but nothing like this, maybe it was just what Spencer needed, he always wanted to be a father! He then needed to be there for his child and he would, he would always be there for his child once he knew that he was going to be a father. But maybe that was the problem…what if Alex didn't want him to know about their child? Though she thought that Alex wouldn't do this she knew that there was a chance that Alex wouldn't let him know.

She still though about how she could convince Alex to come back or at least tell him of her pregnancy when someone pushed her in the direction of the entrance, seconds later Alex was walking beside her, eating a sandwich. "Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't you once tell me you hate tuna?"

"No you're right, but since I'm pregnant I sometimes eat things I really, really hated before and I'm hungry and there was no other sandwich left, but I don't think you're here because of my eating habits?" she said.

"No I'm not, I'm err…here to…talk to you" she said.

"Emily, I'm nearly eight months pregnant, divorced and in the moment I spent all the money I have left on my Baby…so let's get to the point" she said.

"Okay…well obviously I didn't expect you to be pregnant but, you need to come back and talk to Spencer, he isn't the same since you left, he…Hotch even dared to take him out of the Field, maybe when he knows that he is going to be a-"

"Emily, why do you think I left? I found out I was pregnant a week before I left that's why I wanted to go so fast, I can't tell him…Don't understand me wrong I don't want to never tell him but…I can't risk getting his hopes up only to destroy them" she said.

"You know his going to love his Baby no matter what…do you know the gender?" Emily asked and Alex smiled and her free hand lay on her stomach.

"A girl…they told me that she is healthy, no chromosome abnormality or something like that, but you never know. He is going to hate me Emily, I don't blame him but I can't go back now" she said and frowned before she threw the half eaten sandwich away. "How I hate that, most of the time it comes back why I hated tuna" she said when Emily looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"Alex, I came because I think that Spencer is about to take Dilaudid again" Alex stopped in her tracks and stared at her.

"Are you sure?" she asked dead serious.

"Well, no it's not like he's going to walk around saying he's going to take it again. But I think you're the only one able to get him back to normal" Emily said and Alex seemed to think about it.

"Okay, just let me go home first and out of these clothes, my house isn't far away, you going to drive with me?" she asked and Emily nodded.

"That would be nice since I took a cap" she said and while they walked to Alex's car she watched her out of the corner of her eyes, she smiled, it was clear that she loved her Baby.

In the car Alex stopped and took a deep breath and rubbed circles over her belly. "Are you okay?" Alex smiled and nodded.

"Ironically she's very active, especially today…give me your hand" Alex took her hand and placed it on the right side of her baby-bump, Emily instantly felt the movement and kicking against her palm.

"Wow…she's a strong little girl" she said and Alex smiled.

"Yes she is…" she started to drive and twenty minutes later they held in front of a little house near the George Town University.

"Wow that's really nice" Emily said before she got out of the car, across the street was a park and it was a quiet, nice neighborhood.

"Thank you, it's nothing specially" said Alex as they walked to the door, "I'll go and change" she walked upstairs and Emily walked into the kitchen and living/dining room before she followed her up moments later. The door to her right was open and she looked in. It was the nursery; she stepped in to take a closer look, like she had expected it wasn't a world of pink.

The walls had a cute bordure with little ladybugs, butterflies and flowers on a meadow and the part of the wall above the bordure was painted in a pastel yellow; all furniture was made of bright wood and the curtain over the one side of the baby crib was slightly pink, while the mobile above the crib was all girly.

"What do you say?" Emily turned around.

"You did this all on your own? It's great!" she asked Alex shook her head.

"Not completely, my brother helped a lot" she said and they walked back down, now as they were about to drive to the BAU Emily saw that Alex was nervous and she couldn't blame her. Both didn't know how Spencer would react.

* * *

Her heart raced and her little girl constantly moved around in her like she was nervous too, like she knew that her father would know about her from today on. She didn't know what she should say to him; there was no excuse for both of them. What if he was really taking Dilaudid again because of her? She had doubted her choice from the beginning and now she really didn't know if she had done the right thing or the completely opposite of it.

"Don't take this the wrong way, are you sure that he is the father?" Emily asked and she could hear that her friend didn't know how she would take that, so she grinned.

"I did a paternity test and you don't want to know when the last time was when I slept with James, so yes I'm sure he's her father" she said and Emily nodded and smiled.

"It's good to see you again, really, we miss you".

"Then imagine what it's been for me, I really miss you guys too, my colleagues now are nice too but, I don't think anyone can compare to you guys…how is the new one?" she asked glad that she could change the subject.

"Her name is Kate Callahan she's great, she fits and we all like her".

"Good, well at least I didn't punish all of you with me leaving" she said and for the rest of the drive they were quiet. Once in Quantico her heart raced even more, if even possible and when they stood in the parking lot she had to force herself to calm down. 'Calm down…it's going to be okay' a gentle kick to the ribs of her daughter told her to go. She took a deep breath and then got out.

Together they went up and when she walked through the well-known halls to the elevators she saw how some people who recognizing her stared at her surprised, it became a running of the gauntlet for her, their judging looks but she didn't blame them.

When the doors opened her grip on her purse tightened and she took one last deep breath, Emily laid her hand on her shoulder and sent her a encouraging smile before they stepped out into the hallway she had walked in and left so often. Through the glass doors she saw JJ and a woman she didn't knew, Rossi walked down the stairs laughing with Morgan by his side and Spencer…Spencer sat at his desk, looking somewhat between sad and thoughtful. She walked in and the first who saw her was Rossi when she saw his look she couldn't help but smile a bit.

The next was Morgan and then JJ who must have seen the looks on their faces and turned around along with the woman who had to be Kate Callahan. Her mouth also dropped "Oh my God, Alex!" JJ came over and hugged her also Rossi and Morgan came while Spencer only stood up and stared at her while Emily laid a hand on her shoulder again.

"You're pregnant? Wow congratulations" Rossi said loud and smiled, for a second she smiled but then all her attention was on him. He came closer to her and she knew that he was the one who was not happy about that surprise.

"Are you serious!?" he said loud and they all turned around to look at him.

"Spencer, please let me explain-" she tried to not have this conversation in front of not only their friends but practically in front of everyone who was in the Room, Hotch also stepped out of his Office to see what was going on.

"What do you want to explain?! What is there to explain? You just left me damn it, without saying anything you were just gone. And you told me that one of the reasons you couldn't be with me, was because you couldn't give me kids, because you couldn't or didn't want to get pregnant! And now you're going to have his child? Are you serious?!" he said angrily and they all stared back and forth between them.

"Spencer let her-" but Emily was interrupted.

"No I won't! You are going to listen to what I say because you never gave me the chance, you left without telling me, you thought that was the only possibility? You think that that was fair? In which Universe what that fair, you told me that you felt more for me the why did you do this? We could've figured something out do you really think I would've cared about what they'd say? Alex I was in love with you! But you just threw everything away when it got difficult." He said and many stopped working to look at them.

"Reid calm down now!" said Hotch firmly.

"No, I won't because you know why? You told me to get over you and I thought that was impossible but you know what? I'm over you know and I know exactly why Emily brought you back, I never thought about taking Dilaudid again, so you're here with no reason. You just think you can walk back in here and play nice like nothing had happened? News Flash! You can't, Alex you can't! And I don't want to see you again; I don't want to know about you or your child so go!"

"Go back to him and live that miserable life you are going to have, which is never going to be like the life you could have had with me! So go live that fake life with him and your kid I don't care so leave just leave Alex" he hadn't yelled, but she wished he had because the hurt was worse than the anger. Most of what he said was a lie he was hurt that she was pregnant with his child and angry that she was having a Baby with James.

When he was finished her cheeks glow red in embarrassment, not because they knew now, or because she was ashamed of him but that he said such private things in front of everyone in the Bullpen. No one of the team seemed to notice that her hand on her belly had grabbed her shirt tight.

His words were worse, every one of them was like a sharp sting to her heart, he didn't want to know that it was his child; he did not care about her or their Baby. Her daughter would maybe never know her father. Alex couldn't help the tears that burned in her eyes, not because of her, she had realized before this that she may had destroyed what they had beyond repair, but she still spoke up before someone else could. Even if he didn't want her, she owed it to her daughter and him that she told him.

"He threw me out…James, threw me out after I told him that it wasn't his Baby…I am so sorry that this happened it was never my intent I swear, but at least you don't have to carry around the proof of what happened under your shirts...if you wanna know, it's a girl" she said and looked at his puzzled face as he seemed to put two and two together. "I'm sorry I came" she turned around and hurried out of the bullpen knowing that everyone watched her.

Emily turned around to look at him "You should've given her a chance to explain herself; she only came because I begged her to! I don't want to defend her, but you could have given her the chance to explain and not run her down in front of everybody she was already afraid of to meet. I never thought I would say this but sometimes you can be an ass too" she said and was about to ran after Alex when he held her back.

"Wait…it's not his Baby?...It's mine? It's my Baby?" he asked and Emily snorted.

"How did you figure that out? I wouldn't get my hopes up though, you just told her that you didn't care and practically to fuck off!" she said and left him standing there between his more than shocked friends. It was his Baby? He was the father? He was going to be a Dad? Spencer only then seemed to realize what she had said, but then quickly pushed Morgan out of the way and ran after them. He was too late though, the elevator doors were already closed.

* * *

Prolog part two done! Are they both going to forgive each other for their child? You'll see!

Thanks to Catherine-Lillian99 for the review you're great! :)

Leave a Review, I know you can^^

carzy CM fan


	3. It's a Special Ladybug!

**28 +4 weeks**

She pushed the button of the elevator several times though she knew it wouldn't come faster, the tears that had burned in her eyes, now streamed down her cheeks and once the doors had opened enough, she slipped in and pushed the button to close the doors again. She really had destroyed everything.

Alex leaned on the wall and her left arm slid around her belly, -_I don't want to know about you or your child so go, live that fake life with him and your kid I don't care!_\- she could have lived with the fact that he didn't want to know anything from her but that he didn't gave her the chance to explain to him that it was his child, his daughter, was something she couldn't live with. The only one he was really punishing with that was their daughter, 'I'm sorry Baby…I'm so sorry my precious Angel' she thought and ignored the person slipping into the elevator beside her as it wasn't Spencer.

"Alex?" Emily said carefully and Alex turned around whipping the tears away, "I'm sorry, I never thought he would say something like that in front of everyone" she shook her head.

"It's not your fault, I- I don't care about what he said about me but…he shouldn't punish her, he shouldn't punish our Baby…that's not fair, it's not her fault, we did the mistake" she said and leaned back again, a sob escaped her lips and Emily pulled her in a hug "I ruined everything Emily I did everything wrong I possibly could do wrong…" Alex said.

"No you didn't, just give him some time, you have to admit that that was shock, let's get you home" she said and the elevator doors opened. They were about to walk out when suddenly Alex's hand laid on the underside of her belly and she winced, as sudden but as it came it was gone and she walked out, Emily frowned. "You're okay?" Alex nodded but Emily noticed that her hand didn't move away from her belly and she was walking oddly.

Emily had a weird feeling and kept walking a little closer to Alex only moments later when they had nearly reached her car it turned out to be the best Idea she had had on this day.

"Emily...I think somethings not right" she said.

"Why? What's- Alex!" in the middle of sentence Alex gasped for air, held her stomach and nearly fell over, Emily jumped forward and held Alex on her feet who panted. "Alex!? What's wrong?" she asked, not knowing what was wrong with her friend.

"I- don't know…I was never in pain!...Something's not right Emily" she groaned in pain and leaned onto the car next to her breathing fitfully and her hand gripped onto her shirt. "Something's clearly not right!..." she said and Emily's eyes widened.

"What?! Okay…wait I'll go get help! We can be faster when we take an FBI car with sirens" she said and started to ran back.

"Wait! Emily!? Emily come back please?!" she crouched down and tried to breath normally, why was this happening now? Why? Was she losing her daughter? Was this the punishment? Getting her pregnant and getting her hopes up to have her baby girl? The pain in her abdomen was getting worse and she tried to open her car but when she pulled at the door handle a stinging pain shot through.

"Oh no…Emily please hurry!" she mumbled and she felt something slide down her thigh 'Oh no, no, no, no, was that-? That couldn't be! It's too early, it's too early' her hand traced between her legs, when she pulled it back it was worse than she had expected and she looked horrified at her bloody fingers.

Emily couldn't believe what just had happened as she ran back inside. What the hell was going on here? That really wasn't fair and she slipped through the doors as soon as she could fit through. Emily grabbed the key to a car and ran back so fast like she had never ran before.

When she reached Alex she saw her leaning against her car "Please help me, I'm bleeding" she said clearly terrified.

"Alex you need to calm down okay? I know it's not easy, but you need to try" Emily said while she walked her to the car and then stepped on the gas. "I don't wanna lose her" Alex panted and held her stomach she bit her lip but couldn't stop the painful groan.

"I can't feel her…she isn't moving" Alex panted and Emily drove so fast she could. Though Alex had left them and never told them that she was pregnant Emily didn't care, right now it wasn't important and she needed to get her to the hospital before it was too late.

"Keep breathing Alex, you need to stay calm, you're doing great" Emily said and sent Alex quick glances, "We're nearly there" and Alex grip tighten on the door handle as a new wave of pain washed over her making her nearly cry out in pain, but the worst wasn't the pain, the worst was the thought of losing her Baby. When they were finally at the hospital Emily helped her out of the car and inside where she was immediately taken to an examination room by a nurse and a doctor.

Then Emily call Spencer and told him what had happened, she couldn't finish the sentence as he had interrupted her, he told her that he was on his way and hung up. Twenty minutes later he ran up to her out of breath.

"Did she-?..." he couldn't ask but Emily shook her head.

"They're still examine her" and he sunk down on a chair hiding his worried face in his hands and he prayed, he prayed for the first time in years that Alex and their daughter were okay; she had to be, she simply had.

In this second all the anger he had held deep inside him was washed away and the only thing he felt was love for her and their daughter, and the fear of losing her before she was even born, that wasn't fair was it? He only knew about her since today, was this some sort of punishment, what had they done to deserve this?. "Spencer?" Emily sat beside him and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"What did just happen? This isn't fair, I didn't mean to say all those things, I was just angry at myself for not really trying to be with her and I thought she was pregnant from him and not from me, yes I was also angry at her because she knew that I wanted children...it's my daughter I know that now and…now" he said.

"I wish I could say you don't have to worry I really do…but Alex is going to forgive you Spencer, you just have to do something for your relationship both of you and I believe that they both are going to be alright" Emily said. Spencer nodded and they continued to wait.

Two hours later a doctor approached them, "Spencer, Reid?" he stood and his nails dug into his palms as the clenched his fists tight.

"Has she lost our Baby?" he asked and the second until the doctor shook his head were torture.

"No, but she had contractions luckily her cervix didn't open so she didn't went into labor right now, we gave her tocolytics to suppress premature labor which worked there were no more contractions on the CTG, we'll keep her in the next two days to watch her and if nothing happens then she's allowed to go home with strict bedrest! I'll only say this once; she has to stay in bed! She's allowed to go to the toilette and to take a shower and to change rooms okay? Days in the living room, nights in the bed room but she'll stay in bed, she won't cook, she won't make the laundry and nothing else or she could go into labor and then I can't guarantee for anything okay?"

"Someone should stay with her for the next 10 weeks and take her to the doctor every week and watch that she is taking her magnesium 3 times a day, am I clear? This is serious, even if she is feeling better or is angry and wants to get up, she can't…maybe if you want you can go to the medical house across the street and ask for Mrs. Riley you can rant a wheelchair and make little trips to a park or so okay? And a visit from a friend always good…now you can go and see her, 293 just down the hall to the right" the doctor said and Spencer was already on his way.

When he stepped into the room she laid on her side, the CTG was still on her stomach and he heard the sound of their daughter's heartbeat and he slowly approached her and sat beside her bed. Alex didn't look at him.

"I'm sorry" she said quietly, he took her hand and let his thump run across her knuckles.

"What are you sorry for?" he asked she looked at him.

"You do realize why I'm here? I-…this could have killed her" Alex breathed out and tears ran over her cheek and nose as she lay on her side, he laid one hand on her stomach and the other stroked over her cheek.

"Alex, this is not your fault…I'm so sorry for what I said, I know I can't take back what I said, but I was only so angry and jealous, but I love you, I never stopped and I'll take full responsibility. I will take a break from the BAU to take care of you until she is born okay? I won't let you go through this alone Alex, it doesn't matter if we aren't a couple we owe it to her" he said and Alex laid her hand in top of his.

"Thank you…"

* * *

**32+3 weeks**

"Err…what about Sarah?" Spencer asked as they both sat on the couch around ten in the night, Alex had her legs over is and the two of them were still skimming through Baby-Name books to find a name for their daughter.

"That's on the maybe list…hmm, what about Ellie?" she said and looked up, only to wince seconds later "Okay no…these kicks in the ribs really hurt" she muttered.

"Then my daughter shares my opinion about that name" Alex stuck her tongue out and then sighed before she carefully got up.

"If it weren't my only chances to get up I would complain about these very ten minute trips to the bathroom seriously how I'm still able to pee?" she said while she waddled to the bathroom and Spencer grinned.

"What about Nora?" he called after her.

"No!"

When Alex came back she laid on her other side and picked up the name book again, "Okay, can it really be so hard to find a name for our Baby?" she asked.

"Statistically most parents, especially when it's their first Baby, really do think more about their baby's name, they want everyone to approve of their name, maybe other family members try to convince them to name their child different…so all in all it is quiet hard"

"Well I don't care what others think of our daughters name as long we like it, it's "normal" and not super crazy…what do you think of Laura?"

"No, I knew a Laura she was really mean I hated her" he said.

"Okay then Laura is out too" she closed the book and leaned close to him. Spencer laid his arm around her and his hand stroked over her belly, "Our life is so crazy…" she said.

"And it's going to be so much crazier once she's here" Spencer said and he then got an Idea "Wait you know what? I'm going to just going to skim through the book and lay my finger on a name" Alex raised her eyebrows. Before she could say something he already went through with his plan.

"Spencer…you realize that I won't name our daughter Sila do you?"

"Second Chance?" he asked.

"Last Chance" she answered and he smiled but when his fingers rested on a name both looked at it surprised "I can't believe this…I love it, what about you?" she asked and he grinned.

"I love it too, Jane…that's perfect for her, Jane Miller sounds good!" he said and Alex took is hand.

"Actually it's Jane Reid, I want her to have your last name" Spencer looked at her surprised and out of the nowhere he kissed her. Now it was Alex's turn to be surprised but in the next second she already responded to his actions, she had missed this so much, he still tasted like coffee and sugar.

They hadn't kissed since she had left, or made other serious moves implying to be back together, she had only hoped that one day they could be more, but hadn't dare to ask him to take her back. Slowly Spencer pulled back and his hand traced over her stomach as if to make sure that he hadn't hurt her.

"Spence...kissing isn't going to get me into premature labor, as long we don't have sex it's alright" he smiled.

"I missed kissing you…" he said and as an answer Alex kissed him again, before she pulled back and looked at her stomach.

"Okay either way she likes us kissing…or she already thinks that it's gross…feel that…wanna see my magic trick?" she asked an he nodded, so Alex pulled her shirt up and with two fingers she draw circles on her baby bump getting closer to her bellybutton, she then gently pushed it and seconds later their daughter kicked against her bellybutton and moved visibly around and followed the trace of Alex's fingers. "Ta-da!" Spencer smiled before he bend down to press a kiss to where he seconds earlier felt his daughter complaining.

"I love you Jane…and I'm so excited when you're finally going to be here but you still have to stay in there you're a few more weeks okay?" he whispered and then caught Alex yawing.

"We have a name, why don't we go to bed now?" he said and Alex nodded.

"Would you mind…staying with me? I mean in the same bed?" she asked fearing his answer a little before he captured her lips in a loving little kiss again.

"I would never mind it…" he said before he stood and helped her off of the couch. Minutes later he slipped under the covers beside her and Alex snuggled close to him while his arm lay protective around her and Spencer kissed her cheek "Good night" he whispered.

"Good Night" Alex whispered back and not long after she fell asleep in his arms.

* * *

**34+3 weeks**

When Spencer got out of the car with the Grocery's he saw Emily, Garcia and JJ walking towards him "Hey what are you doing here? And what's in these bags?" he asked smiling.

"We are here to save Alex from the boredom so we are either going to paint her belly or make a cast from it" he blinked surprised but grinned.

"Well she could use some distraction" he asked.

"You've been to the doctor again yesterday weren't you?" JJ asked Spencer nodded while he fumbled out the keys.

"Yeah, everything is alright and our little one is perfectly fine" they could hear how relief he was.

"Oh could you please finally tell us her name?" asked Garcia, Reid grinned he and Alex had fun keeping the name of their daughter a secret not because they didn't want to tell, but because it was funny to watch how the rest, mostly Garcia, were trying to find out a the name.

When he had unlocked the door and stepped inside he immediately walked into the living room. "Alex?" he asked and she threw the finished crossword puzzled to the others on the coffee table before she turned to look at him.

"Finally your home I- Hey what are you doing here?" she asked when she saw JJ Emily and Garcia walking in behind him.

"We are here to bring you some action with either painting your belly or making a plaster cast from it" Emily said and Garcia nodded grinning. Alex looked at them like it was a joke, but then smiled.

"Okay…but I choose the painting thing" Alex said and Garcia clapped her hands.

"Great let's do it!" Emily, JJ and Garcia set the couch up so that they could paint Alex's belly while said changed into an old shirt and pants. Alex came back and sat down.

"So what do you want?" asked JJ smiling, Alex thought about it before she shrugged.

"I don't know…something nice, do what you want" Alex said smiling Garcia beamed at her "Okay no wait, do not paint me completely pink, a little bit is fine but I don't want to look like a big bubblegum " Alex quickly added and Garcia pouted, while Emily and JJ giggled.

They didn't tell her what they would do so she just watched as good as she could, but because of the roundness of her stomach and her sitting position there wasn't much to see. She did see the flower tendril that went around her stomach, but nothing else. Spencer also decided to take part in the painting game so Alex only told them when they had to expect some kicks.

"I'm finished!" Spencer said out loud after a while and backed away to look at his art now the other three too saw what he had been drawing and shared questioning glances.

"No offence Spence…but what's that supposed to be?" asked JJ and he looked at her like it was the most obvious thing in the world what he had been working on.

"It's a Ladybug" he said and the three Lady's couldn't help but laugh a bit while Alex shifted in her position and craned her neck to take a look herself, she too had to bit her lips to stop herself from giggling as she looked at his work. It looked more like a black and red dab with antennas. "Does it look that bad?" he asked and before Garcia had opened her mouth Alex already answered.

"No, it's not easy to recognize as a Ladybug, but I think it's cute…it's a special Ladybug, why don't you write that under it? A Ladybug from Dad" he smiled up at her proud that at least she liked what he had been drawing and when they looked at each other they, were lost in one another's eyes for a moment. JJ grinned and nudged Emily in the side she nodded and quickly took a picture.

"Are you excited to become a Mom in about eight weeks?" JJ asked and Alex smiled.

"Yes and no…of course I finally want her to arrive…but I'm scared like hell, I worry so much you know? Is she going to be fine? Am I going to be a good mom? And I can't stop worrying I got nothing to do so I worry, I try to stop but ten minutes later it starts all over again!" she said.

"Yeah, I did that too with Henry and I still do, but I promise it's going to be better in a while really! Just don't listen to everyone because they'll all try to convince you to do it their way, just do your own thing, follow your instincts you know what to do and everything else you'll learn!" JJ said and though it sounded like everything else Alex had read in the last couple of month in books on pregnancies JJ's word really managed to calm her down.

"Thank you" JJ only smiled.

"Hey Alex do you have strange cravings?" asked Garcia and Alex huffed amused.

"Oh I do have strange cravings! I'm the cliché pregnant woman, I couldn't see food the first two months and now I can't stop eating pickled cucumbers and chocolate ice cream…as you mentioned it, Spence?" he grinned and got up to get his beloved a glass of pickled cucumbers and a small bowel of chocolate ice cream.

"Okay if there had been the slightest doubt that you were pregnant, it is confirmed now" Emily said watching a bit disgust as Alex gleefully dipped the cucumber in the ice cream.

"I bet five bucks that you'll like it!" munched Alex.

"You'd have to give me five bucks that I'd even try this!" was her friends answer, Alex rolled her eyes.

"Come on don't chicken out Ems!" she said teasing and so Emily tried something and had to pay the grinning Alex five bucks because it really didn't taste that bad at all!

"Damn, you were right…" and when Emily tried to reach for another pickled cucumber with ice cream Alex slapped her friends' wrist to protect her snack.

"That's mine; get yourself some or you might lose a finger!" Emily quickly pulled her hand back, causing the others to laugh.

After another half an hour, in which Emily finished her very own pickled cucumbers with ice cream, as Garcia and JJ weren't really fond of the combination, the four were finished with the painting.

"So it's nearly done, but two things are still missing, first we need a name!" Garcia said and Alex sighed, Reid had already told them that it was a four lettered because Garcia had dared to paint his favorite Dr. Who shirt.

"Okay, games over I guess, we decided to name her Sila" Alex said and had a hard time to keep a serious face, like Spencer did too.

"W-Well…it's, err…nothing common but…" Emily stated as the first while JJ and Garcia only nodded at a loss of words and then at the same time both Spencer and Alex broke down laughing.

"You seriously thought we would name her that? God no, he settled on Jane!" Spencer managed to get out, while Alex was whipping the tears off of her cheek.

"You're mean! How could you shock us like this? But ohh it's beautiful, and it does fit perfectly!" Garcia squealed, Alex and Spencer grinned.

"We thought so too after we searched for hours, Spence just skimmed through the book and at the second try it was Jane and we both immediately fell in love with it" Alex said still smiling and then Spencer leaned in and gave her a loving kiss.

"Ew stop that you two!" the three women said in unison and Spencer threw a pillow at them.

"Hey that's just practice for the time when Jane is around" JJ said "So you guys are going to give it a try?" she added and Spence and Alex nodded.

"We are…we owe it to her to at least try as we do…Love each other" Spencer took her hand and squeezed it.

"Oh my God okay before I get touchy I'll finish this…so and then the second thing we need are your hands!" Emily said after she wrote the name Jane in to the building blocks in Alex's belly. JJ and Garcia there while painted Spencer's and Alex's hands, hers in red, his in blue so they could both make a hand print left and right were free space was. Then it was finished and Alex could see the whole drawing.

Like she already knew a flower trendily went around her stomach and a doll, a fairy, a butterfly and a Ladybug (two with Spencer's) embellished the four building blocks with Jane in them and their handprints. "Thank you it's really great…" Alex said smiled at Spencer before she kissed him again.

"Okay let's make a picture!" Garcia said and they did, one only from her stomach, one with her and Spencer and one with her, Emily, JJ and Garcia. She was so thankful for them, she knew that without them it could have all been different and not for the better, so she was more than thankful that they would spend time with her and get her to stop worrying about everything that was about to come.

* * *

**38+5 weeks  
**

In the morning Spencer was woken because someone most likely Alex wiggled out of his arms and hit his chest quite hard. "Oh sorry Spence" Alex said when she noticed that she had woken him while trying to get up.

"No problem, you okay?" he asked.

"Yes, but I'm trying to get out of the bed…damn I thought it couldn't get any harder to get up…or that it was possible to get an even bigger belly" she said, Alex didn't only feel like a walrus, she must also look like one as she tried to crawl out of bed. Once she made it out and sat on the edge she felt a strange pulling behind her navel but it was gone shortly after, but it was nothing new in the last days she had noticed some Braxton Hicks. After she had taken a shower she dressed and went down stairs, were Spence was on the phone.

"…No I won't, I understand Hotch but-…" Alex snatched the phone out of Spencer's hand and held the phone to her ear to talk to him.

"Hotch? Hi, yeah wait a minute he's going to call you back okay?" she said before she hung up and looked at Spencer. "What did he want?" she asked.

"They need my help-"

"Where?" she asked.

"Quantico but-"

"Then go Spencer they won't keep you for days, I'm allowed to walk around a bit so you can go" Alex said while she sat down on the couch.

"But you could go into labor every hour and I want to be there" he protested and Alex shook her head.

"I want you to be there too, but first of all, I'd give you a call if it would start and secondly you do know how long a woman is in labor?"

"The average number of hours a woman lays in labor with her first child is twelve to fourteen hours" she smiled.

"Exactly you could drive three times from Quantico over here and still be able to be there in time, but we'll make a deal okay? You'll go get dressed and help them and I'll call Rossi, he was forced into vacation again wasn't he? He can babysit me" He nodded in agreement and Alex called Rossi.

"Are you having the Baby?" was the first thing he said and Alex rolled her eyes.

"No, but Hotch called they need Spence but he wouldn't leave me alone and you're in forced vacation again so?"

"You want me to come over? Great I'm on my way, you mind if I take Erin along?" he asked.

"Oh, you wanted to do something together? You don't need to-"

"Yes or No Alex?" and she grinned.

"Yes that would be nice and you can bring her too that's perfectly fine" she answered and they said their Goodbyes and Alex hung up, when Spencer came back into the room. He walked behind her and slid his arms around her and kissed her cheek.

"You can go, Rossi and Erin are going to babysit me" she said.

"Well then I need to write a note to let them know to keep you away from the fridge" he said and Alex playfully hit his arm before she looked up at him and puckered her lips and he quickly kissed her.

"Goodbye, greet them from me and please take care okay?" Spencer gave her a sheepish grin.

"Don't I always do? But only if you promise to give me a call when something's going on" she sighed.

"I will, now go!" he kissed her once more before he drove to the BAU. When Alex was alone she wondered what Erin would say, did she know that she was pregnant? She didn't hold that old grudge against her anymore, like she had when she had joined the BAU again, but they would never be the best of friends.

Sometime after Spencer was gone Alex read a book, had another Braxton Hicks and then she went into the kitchen to make herself some breakfast. When her Doctor had told her that she could walk around a bit more, even take a walk she could've kissed her.

Well, despite the fact that she couldn't make it very far, tops had been one and a half blocks and she had been lucky to get back home without breaking down. Even though she had only gain 28 pounds, her condition and muscles had suffered a little during ten weeks of laying/sitting on the sofa or bed.

"Alex?" she walked out of the kitchen and saw Rossi and Erin standing in the hallway and judging the look he hadn't told her that she was pregnant.

"Hey I thought are you not allowed to walk around" he said and Alex shook her head.

"Wrong I am allowed to get up and you don't know how great that is! Hi Erin, well I guess he didn't tell you" she said and Erin looked at Rossi.

"No, he did not!" she said and Rossi grinned.

"Well come in and sorry that you have to babysit me but as I could get into labor any minute Spence would've refused to go and help them".

"Oh no it's really no problem, how are you?" Erin asked when they walked into the living room.

"Err…Well I can only see my feet when I lay on the couch and I feel like a planet, but else just perfect and the little Lady is fine" she answered and rubbed her belly smiling.

After some hours of talking, lunch and some other Braxton Hicks they decided to take a little walk to the park across the street, "I warned you I'm slow" she said while she waddled beside them.

"Oh no problem Alex, do you have a name her yet?" Erin asked.

"Yes we settled on Jane" she answered and both smiled.

"That's a really nice name, not too exotic and not too common" Rossi said and then suddenly her womb clenched together stronger than before, she stopped and held her stomach before she noticed herself Rossi raised an eye brow.

"Alex…please tell me that you just peed your pants" he said and Alex looked up at them.

"No, I didn't"

"Then it's?"

"Yes…" she said and it took Rossi and Strauss a second to react.

"Okay, okay let's get you back to the house and to the hospital" Erin said and helped her a little, while Rossi walked ahead to get her bag. "Well your daughter has some timing" she said and Alex laughed ironically.

"You don't say I can't believe my luck" she said and then stopped with a contraction; this was nearly as bad as the last time. She pulled her phone out when the contraction was over and called Spencer, but it went straight to voice mail, he probably was questioning someone. "Oh damn".

* * *

"Ow, ow, ow, Oh Fuck!…Rossi give me the damn phone" said Alex while she walked around the hospital room, hands on her hips and groaning in pain, as she had contractions since nearly eight hours and hadn't reached anyone of the team. Erin was helping Alex through the contractions as good as she could while Rossi was more like a jittery meerkat.

"Give. Me. The. Phone" she growled when he made no attempts to give her the cell but the glance she gave him, made him giving her the phone quickly. He had learned one thing in the last eight hours; do not mess with a woman in labor especially not with Alex.

"Alex you only phoned him five minutes ago I don't think-"

"I don't care, god damn it I need Spencer with me!" she said and then finally Spencer picked up the phone.

"Alex?"

"Spencer! Where the hell have you been? I tried to reach you since eight fucking hours! I'm in Labor get your ass back here now!" she said and for a moment it was quiet on the other end of the line.

"I'm on my way! Where are you?" he asked.

"I'm in the hospital, just hurry please!" she said.

"I promise, I love you" he said.

"I love you too" she hung up and Rossi held his hand out for the phone but she just tossed it in the corner of the room because just in this moment another contraction washed over her and Alex crouched down, held her stomach and screamed.

"Holy Shit, fuck, fuck, fuck, son of a bitch this can't get any worse!" she panted and Erin laughed shortly and Rossi shook his head warning, he was surprised by Alex's choose of words, as she wasn't exactly one of the cursing kind but when he hadn't misscounted she had now cursed and insulted everything and anyone about 106 times and she had quite an assortment he had at least learned five new insults.

"Oh you're only at the beginning it's going to be much worse" Erin said and Alex lglared at her "I get the feeling that I shouldn't have said that".

"Your damn- ahhh right, if I get the pregnancy book writers into my hands I'll kill them, why is no one writing about this fucking pain?!" she said fast while she stood back up.

"Because then I would be unemployed!" her doctor said when she entered the room and examined her again. "Well, I'd say Mr. Reid better hurry's because she's moving fast" she said and Alex rolled on her side 'Spencer please come' she thought.

But there was a little problem, of course Spencer had told the others that Alex was having the Baby and they'd let him go but as soon as he was on the Highway back to DC he was stuck in a traffic jam. He couldn't believe it; he may miss the birth of his daughter because of a damn traffic jam! And he was closed in from all sides and couldn't even drive on the HOV lane. While he was here stuck, Alex had to went through all the pain alone! He stood there for hours and the battery of his phone was empty so she had no news on Alex or their daughter.

* * *

Alex laid in labor for nearly thirteen hours now and there was still no trace of Spencer, she was sweaty, exhausted and in pain. In the moment she had one of the rarer getting moments between contractions, Rossi had long fled the room after Alex had shouted at him for asking her if all the screaming was really necessary.

When the door opened it was the first time Alex was disappointed to see Emily walking in.

"Alex!" she said and went over to her to take her hand.

"Where is Spencer Emily?" Alex asked panting.

"He is stuck in a traffic jam since hours but the streets are free since fifteen minutes so he should be here in some time" Emily said but Alex's Doctor crossed their plan.

"But him being here or not you`ll start pushing now, okay?" she said and Alex grip on Emily's hand tightened, before she groaned in pain again.

"I can't…I can't push as long as he's not here" she said panicked and Emily made her friend look at her.

"Alex you'll listen to me, you'll start pushing now and I'll stay with you okay? I'll stay with you until Spencer is here but you are going to have your daughter now!" she said and Alex had no choice but to nod.

"Okay, with the next contraction you'll start pushing okay?" and she did a minute later with quite some screaming and the attempt to break Emily's hand. "You're doing great, push, push, push, push, push, yeah perfect that's great! Now stop take a deep breath, breathe!" the Doctor said.

She took some deep breathes but there wasn't much time for her to get down before the next contraction, the door opened again and Rossi looked inside and opened his mouth to say something "Hey Alex-"

"GET THE HELL LOST ROSSI!" Alex screamed while pushing and squeezed Emily's hand tight and Rossi quickly backed away.

"Come on, come on push darling! Come on let's get the little Lady out" she sat up and then let herself fall back on the bed, panting heavily. "I can't…I can't"

"Yes you can Alex, you can! You'll have your Baby Girl today!" Emily said Alex nodded and pushed again. She pushed for another half an hour was now completely out of breath, strands of her hair were stuck to her sweat covert face and wanted nothing more than for it all to end, she wanted her Baby now.

"It's nearly done! Heads almost out and then it's a piece of cake-" the doctor was interrupted by the door flying open and Spencer stood in the doorframe he ran over to her and Alex could have cried because she was so relieved to have him by her side. Emily then walked out nearly unnoticed because this was their moment not hers, so she went to the others of the team which waited eager to greet their new family member.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Alex but-" Spencer tried to apologize.

"It's okay…you're here" she panted and he took her hand.

The Doc. smiled "Are you ready?" she asked and Alex glanced at Spence and nodded "Okay…one, two, three, push!" she pushed with all her might and Spencer winced he hadn't expected her to be in so much pain and he couldn't do anything besides holding her hand and hope that it was over soon. "The head is out! The hard part is over! You've been great!".

Spence laid his head against hers and kissed her cheek, "You're amazing Alex, it's nearly done, she's almost here Love you can do it, I know you can" he whispered while Alex caught her breath.

The next and last contraction came faster than Alex would've liked but she pulled the last bit of strength together she had and then it was done. She was there, greeting the world with a loud scream as she was placed on Alex's bare chest with a blanket over her and all three of them cried. Alex and Spencer because finally their daughter was there and because the last weeks of the pregnancy had been harder than they would admit, especially for Alex and Jane probably cried because it was damn cold out there!.

"Hi…hi Jane, hello Baby" Alex said sniffling as she held her daughter close, her thump carefully stroked over her daughters red cheek and then she look up at Spencer. He smiled like she had never seen him smiling before and still, tears of happiness and proudness ran over his own cheeks as he watched their little Jane waving around her little arms and kicking with her tiny feet while she was still crying.

After a while her cry's quiet down and she was only whimpering a little, Spencer leaned over and kissed Alex, "I love you so much and though I wasn't there the whole time which I'm really sorry for, I know you were doing great" he said and as an answer Alex only kissed him.

"Hey Daddy, would you like to do the honors?" the Doctor asked and handed him a scissor, with which he cut the umbilical cord.

"We now need to examine her, but she'll be back in to time!" a nurse said and Alex hesitated a moment before she gave Jane out of her arms, she then relaxed more and Spencer stroked over her head.

"I think I owe Rossi something" Alex said hoarse after a while and he gave her a questioning look. "I maybe was a little bit too mean to him" she said.

"You've been in labor, I think he'll understand" Spencer said and after Alex was also examined again and perfectly fine, a nurse stepped in with a baby bed which she stopped beside Alex's bed and then she lifted Jane up.

"Here we go, she's healthy as can be, 1'7" tall and 7lbs and 3oz " the nurse said and placed Jane back in Alex's arms; she looked at them with clear blue eyes and was cooing happily causing both her parents to smile brightly. Spence reached out and like Alex before he gently stroked his daughter's cheek and then over her tiny right hand which grabbed the pink blanket tight.

Then something was getting her attention and Jane turned her head to nuzzle her face against Alex's breast and searched around. Alex helped a little and giggled when her daughter brushed her nose against her nipple a few times before she finally reached it with her little mouth and she gently sucked a few times. It was a weird feeling but good weird.

She smiled at Spencer who smiled back and after a while Jane would let go she yawned the cutes way both had ever seen and fall asleep soon after, Alex pulled her hospital grown back up and then they would let the others come in and meet little Jane Reid for the first time. All of them were so happy for the three and congratulated them, but they saw how tired Alex was so they all only got to hold Jane for a short time before they would leave them to their deserved privacy, tomorrow was enough time of that.

Alex had fallen asleep most likely in the moment when Hotch, as the last one, had left her room, but now she woke up again and she saw Spencer still sitting beside her bed with Jane in his arms. She watched him for a while and thought about them, were they going to be good parents? Her question was answered by him seconds later; he hadn't realized that she was awake and able to hear what he said.

"I'm your Dad Jane…I'm your Dad, I didn't know that you were on your way very long, but I love you so, so much…and your Mom loves you too, she was so worried when you made attempts to come early but she was so brave and now you're here and it was all worth it…your Mommy and I we did some mistakes and maybe we did everything wrong, but you…you sure are one of the things we did right, you're perfect. I love you, I'll never stop loving you and I promise nothing bad is ever going to happen to you I'll protect you with everything I have…all we have and ever gonna have is you" he said.

She smiled and went back to sleep, Alex knew that Spencer Reid was going to be the perfect Dad.

* * *

**Well I hope you like it from now on it will show their time as parents and little Jane growing up!**

**Be prepared for some action! Because getting up every few hours in the night is action, let's see how they handle that. :D Oh and I just let Erin life because I felt like it I though with whom would Alex not like to go through this and I came up with Rossi and Erin :) And I don't have anything against the other names those were just ones I came up with the same way as Reid did with Jane's ;) :D**

**Leave a Review!**

**crazy CM fan**


	4. Year one

**2 Days**

"Ready to go home Honey?" asked Spencer and lifted her bag into the trunk while Alex made sure that Jane was strapped right in the infant carrier in the backseat while Jane slumbered peacefully.

"Yes let's go home" she answered and got into the car beside their daughter while Spencer started the car and drove home. The problem was that Spencer drove so slow that they wouldn't get home in the next day even though it was just a fifteen minute drive tops. "Spencer, if you won't step on the gas a bit than let me get out and carry Jane home myself by feet, you'll just follow with the car tomorrow" Alex said and Spencer smiled sheepishly before starting to drive a little bit faster.

When they arrived at their house, Spencer took her bag and Alex Jane, who woke up just when they were about to enter. "Hey Jane welcome home Sweetie" Spencer said and they went inside, where Alex quickly got Jane out of the infant carrier and sat down on the couch. She kissed Janes forehead before she cradled her close.

But Jane seemed to have different plans and started to fuss and licking her lips "Right on time" Alex said smiling and stood to get up to the nursery, but Jane was not in the mood for waiting today so she started to cry "Hey, hey, hey Janie don't cry just a second Baby". She sat in the rocking chair and laid the nursing pillow around her before she unbuttoned her blouse and held Jane close like her midwife had showed her and Jane rooted around for her nipple before she latched on and started to drink.

Alex watched their daughter and listened to the pleased noises Jane made while eating, she knew she could never love anything more in the world than her, her perfect little girl but with the love came worry; they were now responsible for the little human in her arms. Was she going to be a good mother? What if she was a miserable Mom? What if she did everything wrong? In this moment she wished her own mother back, who would never see her grandchild for whom she waited for so long, before the cancer took her away.

So in thoughts and lost in memories of her mother she hadn't noticed that Spencer watched her from the door and that tears tickled down her cheeks. But when he noticed that she was crying, he quickly went to her side and whipped the tears away.

"Don't you think she's watching over you? over Jane? I think she was watching over her on the day we met again and you know that you just have to ask yourself what she would've done and you'll know" he said while sat down on a chair beside her kissed her cheek.

Not for the first time she was surprised by the fact how well he knew her. James would've asked what was wrong with her and if she had told him what was bothering her, he would have told her that it was useless to think about such unimportant things like her dead mother.

"I love you, you know that? I don't how I deserved you, but I'll always be thankful for it" Alex said and Spencer smiled at her.

"Me too and for our daughter" he said and stroked carefully, not to disturb her, over his daughters head before he captured Alex's lips in a gentle kiss. "I love you" he whispered against her lips and she smiled before she kissed him again, this time a complaining noise came from Jane.

"Sorry Jane…she really is your daughter, she wants her quiet while eating" Alex said cupped Jane's head and changed the position of her arm a little and Spencer smiled brightly at her.

"You know for her…it was worth everything" Alex whispered.

"Yes it was…" he answered and kissed her again.

* * *

**Two weeks**

Punctual like in the last days Jane woke up at 2.30am and started crying because she was hungry. Alex wiggled out of Spencer's embrace and got up without opening her eyes, put her hair back in a messy bun and then made her way into Jane's room.

"Shh, it's okay Janie" she sat down in the rocking chair and latched Jane on she watched her to make sure that she wasn't swallowing much air and then nearly fell asleep herself. Jane complained about that though and squeezed the breast she was eating from; but because her breasts were very sensitive this was rather painful.

"Ouch! Okay, okay hey I'm up" she muttered and stroked over Jane's head and cheek. When she was finished eating Alex gently burped her but then Jane started to fuss again and to cry moments later "No, no, no please let Mommy go back to bed Honey" she carefully bounced her up and down round the room trying to calm her down.

In the next 30 minutes Alex tried everything to calm Jane down, she had a clean diaper, she wasn't hungry and she had burped, talking, singing, her favorite pacifier nothing worked. Alex had no Idea what was wrong. "Oh Please, Janie stop crying yeah? Mommy is here" but Jane didn't listen to her mothers pleading, no the infant continued to cry her lungs out and her face turned red. Why was she still crying? She looked in her face but of course the Baby didn't answer the question but continued to cry.

Then she remembered the massage oil Karen, her midwife, gave her. Alex quickly laid Jane on the changing table, opened her onesie and gently took it off, so she could put some of the oil on Jane's tummy and massaged it clock-wise.

Alex sighed in relief when Jane stopped crying after a while and then giggled seconds later when Jane passed gas. "Let's go to bed again Baby!" she muttered and kissed her cheek before gently rocking her to sleep. Alex laid Jane back into her crib and watched her for a minute before she went back to bed.

"Everything alright?" asked Spencer without opening his eyes and lifted the covers so Alex could slip under them, she snuggled close to him and he kissed her cheek.

"Yeah, it would be easier though when I knew I wouldn't have to get up again in two or three hours" she answered.

"I would go if she wouldn't refuse to be fed by me" he said.

"It's okay Love, but let's sleep now" he chuckled and with that Alex fell asleep in his arms.

* * *

**Four weeks**

"I want to hold her too, you already had her for five minutes" Morgan said eager and held out his hands to Emily who held Jane.

"Like you said I only have her for five minutes!" she said and turned away from him and made a surprised face for Jane who looked at her and smacked her lips.

"I didn't have her at all" Garcia pouted.

"That's because you arrived just now" JJ said and sat back down next to Alex.

"Wasn't it supposed to be my birthday?" Spencer asked beside her and she grinned before she kissed him.

"Well, it was to expect that your one month old daughter was going to be more interesting than you Love" she said and JJ nodded.

"She's right, but respect you look a lot better than expected" JJ said and Alex nudged her in the side.

"Thanks, like Morgan's Card said Moms are like Rock Stars, they never sleep, their fans want to get in their bed and everywhere they go is loud crying, their breathless and their hair looks like hell, but who cares! The show must go on!" Morgan grinned at her and Alex waved at him.

"Hey Honey why don't we tell them now?" Spencer asked and Alex shrugged her shoulders smiling.

"What do you want to tell who?" Garcia asked, interested in everything as always.

"Well we wanted to tell you who are going to be Jane's Godparents if the two are saying yes" Alex said and then looked at the two on the sofa who still argued over her daughter.

"Emily, Derek? Would you be Jane's Godparents and take care of her if something happens to us?" Spencer asked and the two of them started at him and Alex for a moment.

"Wow…o-of course, yes!" Emily answered and smiled before she looked at the little Girl in her arms "Hey Janie I'm your godmother and you know what? In Garcia I have the best role model to spoil you sweetie" she cooed and Garcia grinned.

"But don't forget Uncle Morgan, yeah I know we'll have so much fun…come here I'm gonna teach you real cool stuff like baseball or judo" he said and lifted Jane into his own arms; they all smiled as Morgan was in Baby mode again.

"Yeah what a great idea and if Emily is teaching her too than she'll be able to kick her father's ass at age twelve" Hotch said and they laughed at Reid's slightly offended expression.

"A homerun seems to be not as important as it used to be" Spencer mumbled but Alex kissed his cheek.

"I don't know but you impressed me very much and I thought you were sexy" she whispered in his ear, which seemed to lighten his mood again, before she checked the time.

"Why are you ginning like that?" JJ asked her friend.

"Because Jane strictly sticks to her eating times and if I'm not so tired that I can't read the clock anymore, she is going to cry any minute" answered the brunette and as if she had heard it, Jane started to fuss and cry moments later, Emily laughed.

"Yes she's very excited to have fun with you!". Alex got up and took her crying daughter out of the arms of the helpless looking Morgan.

"Don't take it personal, it's only eating time, if you would excuse me" she said and sat on the armchair where she pulled one side of her nursing top down and latched Jane on.

Reid kissed her and then walked over to sit down beside Morgan and continue their conversation. Then the doorbell rang so Spencer had to get up again and went to open the door.

"Happy Birthday Spencer!" said Henry loud and held the present out to him and Spencer smiled.

"Thank you Henry!" he bend down and hugged him and then shook Wills hand "Come in, come in" Spencer stepped aside and let the two newcomers in, he noticed that Henry already craned his neck and looked into the living room. When they went to the others he looked around and seemed to be belied over something as he couldn't see Alex from his position.

"Uncle Spence…where is the Baby?" he asked.

"Alex is just feeding Jane" the proud father said and smiled at his Godson.

"Can I see her?" he asked quietly and JJ shook her head smiling, he really was eager to meet the daughter of his uncle Spence.

"Come" she walked over to Alex with him but he suddenly became a bit shy.

"Hey I thought you wanted to see her?" JJ said to her son he took her hand and pulled her down to whispered something in his mother's ear while Alex tried to hide her amused smile.

"What is Aunt Alex doing?".

"She is feeding Jane, when Jane was in her belly she could drink directly from inside, but she is too young to eat by herself and she still has no teeth so Alex is nursing her until Jane his big enough to eat" JJ explained.

"Like with the cats and dogs?" Henry asked and all of them had to stifle their laughter and Garcia swore she hear Alex mumble "More like a cow".

"That's right many animals are feeding them also like this" JJ answered the question of her son. But it was quite understandable he never saw someone breastfeeding as no one of their friends and family members except for Alex and Spencer had a Baby.

"But she can't even have mashed bananas?".

"No, not even them" with that it seemed like he had all the answers from his mother which he needed and then walked over to stand beside Alex, who had already slipped down in the armchair a bit and stood on his toes to see how this was working.

"Does it hurt?" he asked curiously Alex smiled at him.

"No it doesn't hurt, it's a nice feeling" Henry then watched the next minutes, as if he would miss something when he didn't stay. When Jane let go of her breast Alex quickly covered herself and the burped Jane.

"What are you doing now?".

"I burp her, when Jane swallowed too much air she'll have a tummy ache and cry" and after a small burp from Jane, Alex sat next to Morgan and pattered the space next to her on the couch for Henry to sit down. She then held Jane low so Henry could see her properly.

"Wow she's so little!...Mommy Jane yawned!" he said grinning and the adults smiled, then he leaned over to his mother and whispered in her ear JJ grinned.

"Why don't you ask Alex yourself?" and he smiled a little.

"Can I hold her?"

"Of course you can, hold your arms like this" she said and then placed Jane in the arms of the boy and took his hand and laid it so that he supported Jane's head. Jane looked up at Henry licking her lips pleased and reached out with her tiny hand to touch his chin she then looked at her mother and cooed happily.

"Hey Henry…smile" Spencer said and when his godson looked up he smiled brightly and Spence took a picture of him and Jane. The youngest member of their group seemed to be very comfortable in Henrys arms so she yawned again and fell asleep pretty fast.

"Good Night Jane" Henry said and gave her a goodnight kiss on her forehead and when Will laughed about something Rossi had said, Henry looked up at his father.

"Shh! Dad you have to be quiet, Jane is asleep!" he said and they all had to stifle their laugher. Alex smiled at him and gently took her daughter out of his arms.

"You wanna come and put her to bed with me?" she asked and Henry nodded together the two went up to the nursery. Henry opened the sleeping bag and watched when Alex changed Jane into her pajamas and helped putting her in the sleeping bag. She kissed Jane's forehead and Henry smiled at her.

"When Jane is older…can we play together?" he asked Alex smiled at him.

"Of course you can Henry…and you can come around whenever you want" she said and turned the Baby-phone on before they left and went down again to the others.

"She's asleep?" Spencer asked and pulled Alex close to him, she nodded and kissed him.

"And I think…Henry here, is going to be a constant visitor in our home" she said and snuggled close, he laid his arm around her and sighed happily this was the best birthday ever.

* * *

**Seven weeks**

Alex sat on the sofa nursing Jane when the doorbell rang, but because Spencer was still groceries shopping she had to go, Alex sighed and got up, hopefully this wasn't some stranger. When she opened the door she looked at a grinning Emily.

"Oh is it a bad moment?" Emily asked when she saw that Alex was busy.

"You could have asked me before you rang the doorbell, but no I'm only feeding her. Come in" Alex stepped aside to let her in and they walked into the living room where she sat down.

"How is your princess today?" Emily asked and sat down beside her.

"Wonderful, we had a bath today and Daddy insisted to take some pictures, yeah he did, didn't he?" she said and then adjusted how she held Jane "Hey slow down, Baby" she said "She coughed last time and I took me ten minutes to calm Spencer down that she just drank to fast" Emily smiled that was typical, adorable Reid always worrying they then heard the door open and close.

"Hey my two Lady's and Hi Emily" he called from the kitchen before he walked over to them and kissed her and stroked over Jane's hand resting on her mother's chest before he turned to Emily.

"What brings you over today?" he asked

"Well though I love spending time with my goddaughter, I'm here because of you" the black haired woman said and he frowned.

"Why?"

"Well…when did you plan on coming back to work…we need you Spence, of course things go okay without you, but it would go faster and less victims with you back with us" Emily said sounding quite hopefully.

"Err…I don't know, I didn't plan to go back just now" Spencer answered. Emily shared a glance with Alex who took her hand away from Jane to lay it on his shoulders.

"Spencer…you can go back its okay, really…I know you miss your work and to be honest we could use the money, she's not going to grow slower" he stared at her.

"But…I don't want to leave you with Jane alone and…I don't know if I can, I never really had someone who cared for me or needed me but now with Jane…" he said and took her hand she smiled at him.

"I love you Spencer, nothing is ever gonna change that I'm a little scared too but I know that that you can do so much good in this job, and I'm never going to ask you to leave that behind. With every Unsub you catch the world is a little bit better and safer for our daughter and I'll think, I'll manage this with Janie quite good" he sighed before he kissed her.

"I love you…you and Jane" Alex smiled at him.

"You know what? Let's make a deal, when you come home, the first hour is Daddy time which you'll spend with Jane." He grinned.

"Best deal ever" he then turned to Emily who had watched the small Family scene "Well…when do l start again?"

"Once you come in and tell Hotch, then you can start" Emily said relieved, they really needed their "Daddy G-Man" back, as he was called by Garcia now.

* * *

In the evening Alex waited for Spencer who just put Jane to bed and came down smiling before he slumped down next to her.

"Well I don't want to praise myself but Jane is sound asleep" he said and laid his arm around her and Alex kissed his cheek.

"But I thought you are Super Dad" Alex said and slightly mocking smiling, but Spencer only grinned, he then turned her head towards him and kissed her passionately, when he pulled back he could see the desire flicker in her eyes.

"How about I…show you how super I am?" he asked and pulled her close but was surprised when she backed away from him and looked down, almost as if she was embarrassed about something. "Alex?".

"Are you…sure? We haven't slept together since we- well, made Jane and maybe…" she said.

"You're worried that I won't like it?" he said and chuckled a bit instantly regretting that when he saw the hurt look in her eyes, so her reached out and held her back from getting up. "I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that Alex, it's just a little bit silly…I love you Allie and we don't need to have sex when you don't feel good"

"Spence didn't you meet other women after I left? Didn't you see that you didn't need to be with me?" Alex asked and Spencer took her face in his hands.

"I could tell you every day from now on to the day that I die, that I want you and only you because I love you…you still wouldn't believe me would you?" he said and looked her deep in her dark brown eyes. Spencer loved her eyes and he hoped dearly that Jane would have Alex's eye color, this dark chocolate brown he lost himself in every time he looked in her eyes.

"I love your lips" he brushed his against hers, "I love your nose" he kissed her nose "Your small dimple" he also kissed that and brushed her hair aside "I love the small heart shaped birthmark on your neck…and I love everything behind that all, I love you Alex only you…not only because you're the mother of our daughter, that's just the icing on the cake but because you make me happier than anything else in the world and I can't imagine my life without you" Spencer said.

Alex looked at him "I…I really did leave because of you, when you were in that hospital because of me, I wanted to die, I didn't want to live in a world without you, every time the phone rang in these seven months I feared that they called to tell me you died…I never felt something like this for anyone, I never loved one like I love you…maybe that was-is what I'm afraid of…" as she spoke her hand traced over the scar on his neck, but he took it and laid it on his chest.

"You feel that? I didn't die and you don't have to be afraid I'm not going to leave you because there is no other woman on this planet. I had two Dates and I walked out after five minutes because they weren't the right ones…they weren't you Alex" she cupped his face with her hands and kissed him passionately. Spencer laid his arms around Alex and pulled her close again, this time she didn't back off but moved even closer. He wandered with his lips to her neck and his hands snuck under her old Berkeley University shirt she wore to bed, pulling it off.

"Wait…just be a bit more careful with them, they are even more sensitive than before" she whispered but he only smiled and opened her bra, Spencer kissed his way down and placed light kisses on her breasts driving her insane. Breastfeeding really had only advantages they didn't only changed a full cub size but really were more sensitive and he smiled at her gasps of pleasure. Alex quickly pulled him up to kiss him again while her own hands wandered over his Body.

She had really missed his touch and lips on her body, sex had been a taboo in her pregnancy more than a few kissed here and there and cuddling hadn't been in there for her. She pulled his shirt off and kissed his neck while her hands ran up and down his torso to finally settle between his legs and pull his pajama pants and boxers down make him swallow.

They lay cuddled up together on the couch a blanket draped over them and Alex had pillowed her head on Spencer's chest while he stroked over her back. "I love you…do you realize that this was the first time we had sex and neither of us has to get up and sneak out?" Alex mumbled and kissed his neck.

"Well theoretical we never had to, but considered the fact that we would have been in damn trouble we did…and being able to lay here with you in my arms, it's not comparable to that" he said and kissed temple Alex only murmured something in response against his neck and soon later Spencer realized that she had been falling asleep. "I really do love you…so much that I'd do and give everything for you, even my life" he whispered and continued to hold her in her arm enjoying the Moment.

* * *

**Well the first few weeks as parents next part is also coming!**

**Leave a review!**

**crazy CM fan**


	5. Year one II

**2 Months 3 weeks**

The Team walked into the bullpen after they came back from a Case in Phoenix. Spencer walked fast to his desk and quickly started to work on his Report before Morgan, Emily or JJ could even sit down. Emily smiled and then walked to Hotchs Office where their Boss sat and opened his bag.

"Hey Hotch why don't you send Reid home? I'll do his report" she said and their Team leader stood to look out his window and watched Reid doing his work so fast as if the devil was on his heels. He then walked out and down to Reid.

"Hey Reid why don't you go home, Emily can do your report" he said and Reid looked up.

"What? Oh no, you don't have to do that" Spencer said.

"But I want to, so go home and be with your daughter" she said and Reid didn't need to be told twice and packed up his things.

"Thanks guys" he said and hurried out to the elevators, he really wanted to get home and just hold Jane close. It had been a bad Case, a whole family had been killed under the victims had been the five months old daughter; he never really had realized what JJ went through when they had Cases like this, now he did and it was a terrible feeling.

He parked his car in their driveway and hurried to the front door, when he stepped in Alex already walked over to him with Jane in her arms. She looked "slightly" stressed out, wore only a long shirt and gave him just enough time to put his bag down before he held the whining Jane in his arms.

"Hey Love, we can talk after your Daddy time, milk is in the fridge, I need a shower" she kissed him and then walked up the stairs and Spencer looked at his daughter.

"Hello to you too princess" he said and kissed her cheek before he went to the kitchen and prepared her bottle and sat on the couch to feed her. "I really missed you…did you miss me? You had mommy and something to eat you were happy weren't you?" he said and watched her eating, luckily he could feed her now, two weeks earlier things had looked very differently also between him and Alex as they did have quite the fight looking back, he couldn't really blame her.

* * *

**Two weeks back in time**

"Honey could you please feed Jane?" Alex asked and pattered Janes back so she wouldn't start crying.

"I'd love to, but you know how she gets" he said but Alex glared at him.

"Spencer, I love her dearly but if I have to latch her on one more time with my nipples sore like this, I'll let it out on you" Alex said and Spencer quickly went to the kitchen to make Janes bottle.

He tested the temperature and then went to take the now fussing Jane from her mother's arms and kissed her cheek before he sat down and brought the nipple of the bottle to his daughter's lips. But she had other plans and turned her head away from her bottle and looked at him quite angrily like she wanted to say "Hey what is this? It doesn't feel or smell like Mommy" he tried again but Jane spit the nipple out and started hitting the bottle with her little fists.

"Come on Jane, this isn't so bad and you're hungry, but Mommy can't do it right now" he pleaded a bit and sighed in frustration and it seemed that Jane ran out of patients too and started crying fully.

"Shh come on Baby it's not so hard" he said and tried it again. After the sixth try he was quiet frustrated too, but before the nipple touched Janes mouth the seventh time, the phone started ringing and Spencer looked back and forth between his daughter and the phone.

"Alex? Could you please pick up the phone?"

"Now you know what I have to do" she said but went to get the phone.

"Yeah but I have to hold the bottle as I don't have breasts and with the other one I should do hold our daughter" he argued back but then stopped when Jane started drinking.

"You really are a hard nut to crack aren't you Jane?" he said but then smiled when Jane started to greedily empty the bottle. When it was finished he put it on the coffee table and burped her before he gently rocked her into sleep, he kissed her little nose and then laid her down in the bassinet by the sofa.

"It's funny, you can drive me so crazy but I love you Janie never less" Spencer whispered and turned around when Alex stepped into the room again holding the phone up, her expression meant nothing good.

"Guess who this was…your mother" she said and he had a small idea about what was to come, but maybe it was still time to play clue less.

"How is she?" he asked, uh-oh wrong answer.

"Are you serious? Spencer…you never told your mother about Jane? You didn't told her that you have a daughter?" she asked and he was slightly surprised that he didn't really heard anger in her voice but actually something that was way worse, hurt.

"I- Alex…" he didn't know what to say.

"Why didn't you tell her?...Didn't you tell her because of me?" she asked.

"No Alex…it has nothing to do with you" he said and walked closer.

"Then what? What made you keep your daughter from your own mother when it's not me? Why didn't you tell her?"

"Alex, it has nothing to do with you or Jane!" he said loud and woke up their little Girl; Alex walked over and picked her up for a moment it was quiet except for Janes whining.

"Are you going to tell me now?" she asked quieter.

"Alex I didn't told her about Jane because my mother is a paranoid schizophrenic and I didn't tell you, because who wants to be together with a guy who has such a mother and I wanted to keep her away from Jane so she couldn't embarrass and hurt her like she embarrassed and hurt me, since I'm eleven it was more me who took care of her then the other way around" he said.

"You really could have told me" she said and bounced Jane up and down "I just thought well…you told her about us then why not about Jane." she added quietly. "Spencer I love you, I don't care you mother has this disease, she is your mother and she has a right to know that she is a grandmother…and she is the only one Jane has left" Alex said and laid Jane back down.

Spencer wrapped his arms around her and pulled Alex close, "I'm sorry love, I should have told her" he said and Alex kissed his cheek.

"I'm sorry too, I guess it's still new to me, until you, I lived so long in unreal love" she whispered and he capture her lips in a gentle kiss.

"That's over…forever and you know what? I'll call my mom now and invite her to visit us. She finally needs to know she is a grandma" Spencer said and Alex smiled at him.

* * *

When he looked down at Jane he saw that she was finishing her bottle. He burped her and watched her lying in his arms looking up at her Daddy. "Yeah Daddy didn't know what he was thinking when he didn't tell his mom that you are in our life…after all you are the best thing we have" he said and two hands laid on his chest and Alex kissed his cheek.

"Yes she is…how are you? Emily texted me that it was a tough Case" she said and slipped down to him on the sofa.

"I never really understood what JJ went through when children die…and I thought it was hard before Jane was here" Spencer said and Alex he kissed his cheek before she made him look at her then gentle kissed him before she got up and took their child from his arms who dozed off and laid her in the bassinet before she sat behind him and pulled him back against her.

"Just relax a bit and forget the world…It's only us, you, me and Janie" his beloved one said and ran her fingers through his hair and caressed his neck while Spencer closed his eyes and ran his own fingers over her leg.

"I'm going to pick my Mom up at the airport around eleven…maybe she is going to be a little nervous because of her aviatophobia, so…" he tried to explain.

"No problem its fine Love, really don't worry I want to finally meet your Mother and it's going to be okay" Alex insured him and Spencer leaned back, slightly amazed that she was able to take away all the worries he had.

"Your amazing Alex" he said and she giggled "I guess learning multitasking really pays off" she mumbled and laid her head on his. Suddenly Spencer turned around and kissed her passionately; quick as a lightning he pulled her shirt over her head and kissed his way down.

"Why don't we do something good with the last night without my mom in the house?" Spencer asked against her skin and Alex bit her lip, taking it as a yes he continued with his doings and- was interrupted by the doorbell and then Janes whining as she was woken. Alex groaned in frustration and Spencer let his head fall on her stomach.

"You take the front door and I'll try to get her back to sleep…warn me if I should put on some pants" she said and pulled the shirt back over her head while Spencer headed to the front door. He opened it to see Emily and Morgan "It's Emily and Morgan you should better get some pants on!" When the visitors raised their eyebrows Reid smiled sheepishly.

"It's not what you think it is! She walked around all- never mind come in! What are you doing here anyway?" Spencer said and stepped aside to let them in.

"Tough Case, cute Goddaughter…this should explain all" Morgan explained their visit and walked in the living room where Alex, now with some pants on, lifted Jane up to lay here in Morgan's waiting arms.

"Hey little cutie pie…you know what? Looking at you just saved my day" he said and Jane reached out and slightly hit him at his chin with her little fists and babbled happily, Derek's baby mode switched on and he started to talk back repeating her "words" or make new ones while Alex handed him a burp cloth.

"You may wanna use this she's drooling a bit more today" Alex said and Emily stood behind Derek.

"Well I don't know if your Baby mode blocked your nose but this smells like a full diaper" she said and Spencer took his daughter.

"Let me, hadn't had the pleasure today" he said and went up while Emily shook her head and sat next to Alex.

"So, tomorrow is the big day huh?" Alex chuckled.

"Yep, but I'm still not sure for whom, his mom, him or me…she's going to learn that she is a grandmother, maybe Spence is going to get is ass kicked and well I'm gonna meet his mom" she said.

"Uh that's gonna be fun" Morgan said and slumped down next to Emily.

"Totally…well let's see how it goes".

"How long is Reid's Mom staying?" Emily asked.

"Three days…at least it can't go any worse than meeting James's mother that was horrible" Alex said.

"Monster in Law?" both Morgan and Emily stated and Alex nodded.

"She was a total bitch when she found out that I wasn't going to stay home cook and breed she flipped out what was her precious son going to marry? A woman who's going to work and not staying home!...urgh I hated her, she ran me down in front of everybody when I said that James could cook for himself"

"Uh…sounds like the bad kind" Alex gave a short laugh.

"She probably threw a party when he told her I'm gone and she probably came by to comfort her son when he told her I cheated and got pregnant…god he was such a namby-pamby boy. He called his mother more often than me when he was in another country."

"I really, really like you, but what the hell made you marry this guy?" asked Emily and for a moment Alex thought about it.

"I have no idea; guess the thing you thought was Love is really making you blind…well until you see Mister Perfect stumbled through the doors of your auditorium and then end up working together." Emily smiled.

"Thank God Reid likes to spend his free time at Universities to give guest lectures "

"Yes this is great because then you meet people like your mama! She made me really nervous because I had never met someone as amazing as her and so Daddy made a complete fool out of himself" Spencer said while he walked into the room and put her favorite pacifier in his mouth the wrong way and lifted Jane up to his face so she would take it into her mouth.

"That wasn't my fault you did most of it on your own!" Alex said and sat Jane on her lap, she pulled a surprised face and Jane opened the mouth and spat her pacifier in her mother's lap where it fell on the sofa and floor. "Hey we keep that in our mouth" Spencer picked it up and cleaned it before stood behind her and kissed Alex's cheek while he moved his hand to place the pacifier back in Janes, mouth when he suddenly stopped.

They had waited for it, and they knew now it was really because of them, it was small at first but then the corners of Jane's mouth pulled up and she smiled brightly at them.

"She's smiling" Alex whispered and Morgan and Emily sat up to look at their smiling goddaughter she looked up at Spencer who hadn't said anything and she looked up and had to smile herself when she saw the tears in his eyes.

"She really knows how to turn a bad day into one of the best ever" he said and lifted his still smiling daughter in his arms "I love you so, so much Janie" he said and kissed his still smiling princess.

* * *

Spencer waited already twenty minutes when the plane of his mother landed and he could make her out in the crowed of people she walked over to him and he smiled and opened his arms to hug her.

"Hello, it's so good to see you Mom"

"Hello Spencer it's so nice to see you too and thanks for getting me out of this hole for three days" she said and he smiled at her.

"You look good, better than the last time" he said and picked up her bag and together they walked out to his car and he drove to their house he wondered how to tell his Mom about Jane the best way seem to just tell her, well, they shouldn't force Jane in her arms once she had stepped in the house with a "That's your granddaughter" but it should happen rather fast.

"What are you worrying about? And don't try to deny it I'm still your mother Spencer" she said and he had to smile.

"It's really impossible to keep something from you and Alex".

"She seems to be very nice, I like her…" Diana said and Spencer had to smile again.

"I'm really pleased to hear that, because I love her" he said and when they finally arrived at the house they got out and Spencer carried his mother's bag again.

"That's a nice home" Diana mumbled while they walked up the front stairs and inside.

"Alex? We're here!" she came out of the living room and Spencer had to smile it was like the first time in days Alex had bothered to wear something else than sweatpants, shorts and T-Shirts or only a top. But now she looked like there was no two month old Baby living in the house, smiling at his mother with all the charm she had.

"Hello Mrs. Reid" Alex said and held out her hand.

"Hello Alex…call my Diana I think we can leave the formalities behind" Diana replied and shook Alex's hand.

"Well, do you want to go up to your room? Or would you like something to drink?" she asked.

"I think I'd like to take my bag upstairs first but then a tea sounds wonderful" Alex nodded and Spencer showed his mother the way up to her room.

"Here is your room, I know it's nothing special or big but the couch is really comfortable across is the bathroom" he explained when he opened the door to the guest bedroom they also used as their "Office" as it was the room only room free where their books could be which didn't fit in the shelfs downstairs.

"You know that I don't need much its fine!" she insured him and he placed her bag beside the already made bed. He was no getting a bit nervous, how was his mother going to react, when she would learn about having a granddaughter in some minutes.

"Let's go downstairs again" she nodded and went down again where Alex was in the kitchen with some tea, well some hot water and some tea varieties.

"I didn't really know what you wanted so-" she stopped and Spencer at to bit his lip to keep himself from laughing or even chuckling, Alex was nervous about meeting his mother and he thought it was adorable.

"No problem" in this moment there was a loud cry of attention coming from the living room, Diana's head shot up surprised and narrowed her eyes.

"I think that was my cue, excuse me" Alex said and hurried out of the room leaving Spencer behind with his mother.

"She has a child?" she asked and he scratched the back of his head.

"Yeah kinda…" he turned to see Alex walk in with Jane "Mom, meet Jane…our daughter and your granddaughter" he said and laid an arm around Alex while they both stared at his mother who continued to stare back and mostly at the little girl in Alex's arms who seemed only interested in getting Alex blouse off and started to suck and drool on it looking up at her mother, her eyes saying 'Hey could get this thing off already?'.

"My granddaughter?" Diana asked.

"Yes…I'm sorry we- I didn't really know how to tell you" he said.

"It's okay…wow I never really thought about being a grandmother, how old is she?"

"A little over two months" Alex answered and kissed Janes head and Diana smiled.

"She really looks like you when you have been in this age…may I?" Alex quickly stepped forward and placed Jane in her grandma's arms.

"Hello little Jane…nice to meet you" she said and Jane, like she knew this was family, started grinning and giggling.

"She likes you, since she learned to smile she wouldn't stop smiling at her family members" Spencer stated while he laid both his arms around his beloved one and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Oh…she really is a sweetheart" Diana cooed and one more had fallen under Janes spell. "Well, if she comes after Spencer here, you better cover your blouses or feed her because I could throw everything away he had drooled on" she said and Alex nodded.

"Yeah I noticed this" she said giggling and Spencer kissed her cheek with his mother knowing and loving Jane everything was perfect.

* * *

**3 Months 2 weeks**

It was eleven thirty in the night, Alex lay on the sofa reading a book while Spencer was still at work, but he had called that it would get late as they still tried to get the Unsub to talk. She sighed and threw the book on the coffee table she looked at the clock; normally Jane would have cried by now to be fed. But hopefully they had reached the glorious time of sleeping through the night! Even though it were only six hours.

Alex decided to go to bed too and got up; she walked up to check on Jane before going to sleep herself. When she opened the door and stepped in to peek in the crib she frowned, it would have looked normal if the faint light wouldn't have been enough to see that Jane's lips were blueish and it seemed like her chest wasn't rising.

Fear pulsated through her body 'No, No!' Alex laid her hand on Jane's chest but she was right her daughter wasn't breathing. "No! Jane!" Jane opened her eyes only to cry shortly Alex nearly sighed in relief that she breathed, but then Jane started to breathe wheezing, the blue didn't vanish and her arms and legs started to twitch. Alex ran in her bed room grabbed the phone.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"I- my daughter is having a seizure"

"Okay try to stay calm, how old is your daughter?"

"Three months and two weeks, please help she's not breathing well! Her lips are blue and-…"Alex rambled into the phone she tried to stay calm but watching her Baby convulse in her bed.

"Okay, lay her on the floor with a blanket underneath and lose the clothes she is wearing from the neck, please don't try to hold her down! What's your address?"

"1627 35th St NW Washington DC" Alex said before she followed the instructions of the 911 Operator. "Janie, Baby hold on please helps on the way, it's going to be okay" she tried to calm herself, it was pure torture to watch her suffer like this "Oh god please breathe Jane" she whispered and tears rolled down her cheeks.

Then finally she could hear the loud sirens at their house and moments later someone stepped in "Hello?".

"Upstairs!" Alex called back and a man and a woman appeared in the door shortly after.

"Please make some room, thanks…since when is she having the seizure?" the woman said while her partner already checked on Jane.

"I- err 10 minutes? Maybe a bit more but with intervals, I don't really know" she said not taking her eyes off of her daughter while the paramedic put an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth

"Okay I'm ready let's go" he lifted her up and Alex followed them shaking like hell. The ride in the ambulance was short due to them living near the Hospital when they reached it they jumped out and were greeted by a blonde doctor.

"What do we have?"

"Three month old girl is having a seizure, severe troubled breathing she had it at least ten minutes before we arrived with intervals and she only stopped for a two minutes on the ride here" the paramedic explained while they ran down the hall.

"You're the mother?" Alex nodded unable to speak "Was she acting normally or weird today or yesterday?" he asked.

"No, she acted normal, she ate and everything…she was fine when I put her down and I checked on her and- and"

"It's okay but you have to wait here!" the doctor said and stepped thought a glass door a nurse had opened.

"What? No I'll-"

"We try everything, but you have to wait here!" he said and they disappeared while Alex was held back by the nurse.

Now as she was parted from her and seeing the people trying to save her little daughter, Alex busted down in tears. Why was this happening? Their Baby couldn't die not their little Jane it wasn't fair!. Then something shot through her head Spencer! She had to tell him! She searched through her bag still crying but then realized she had forgotten her phone at home.

"I-I'm sorry could I…could I use your phone please?" she asked ad the nurse gave her a sad smile.

"Of Course, follow me" they went to the Counter and she handed Alex the phone, who reached for it with shaky hands, it was so bad that she could barely dial his number.

She closed her eyes and more tears ran down her cheek when it went to voicemail after the fifth ringing, so Alex had to pull herself together one last time and dial the one number she knew was going to be picked up.

"Technical Analyst Garcia FBI?" she opened her mouth but no word came out. "Hello?" Garcia asked again and Alex tried again.

"Garcia?...It's Alex…" her voice was quiet and teary but she couldn't do anything about it.

"Alex? What's wrong?" Garcia asked immediately she knew something bad was going on.

"Garcia, y-you have to get Spence…I'm at the hospital…J-Jane she had seizure and she wasn't breathing…please get him" speaking it out made it even more real and Alex couldn't hold back a sob and her last words were a quiet plead.

"Oh my God, wait a second I'm on my way don't hang up!" Garcia said and jumped up to ran out of her office and down the hall to the integration rooms, running over another Agent in doing so but not giving a damn thing about that.

When she ran in the room where Hotch, Emily, Spencer, JJ and Kate stood watching Rossi and Morgan grill the Unsub everyone except the last two whirled around.

"Garcia! What is going on?" asked Hotch but the attention of their Technical Analyst was all on Reid.

"Alex just called…she's at the hospital Jane had a seizure and even stopped breathing!" she said fast and all eyes were on Spencer who went pale and then sprinted past Garcia.

"She's on the phone in my office!" she called after him and Emily was on his heels running down to get a car. Reid nearly knocked off half the things on Garcia's desk while he picked up the phone.

"Alex?!" he asked and he could hear her sobbing "What happened, where are you?" he added.

"I- put her to bed, she was all fine and an hour later I-I checked on her and she was all blue, she wasn't breathing and then she had the seizure…you have to come, please hurry I'm at the MedStar Georgetown University Hospital".

"I'm on my way!" he said and hung up to ran out again Hotch running towards him.

"Emily waits in a car downstairs go!" and Reid didn't need to be told twice as he ran to the stairs, the elevators weren't fast enough. What had happened to his daughter? Was she alright? Could they help her? What if she was seriously ill?.

For him the ride was like a rush, all around him seemed to move while felt like he was stuck in his state of fear. Spencer and Emily ran into the hospital twenty minutes later and ran to the counter past the others.

"My daughter Jane Reid was brought in half an hour ago were is she?" he asked and the nurse nodded.

"Sixth floor" she answered and the two of them already ran up the stairs.

"Alex?" he called and she appeared behind a corner were probably a waiting room was but Reid and Emily ran over and Spencer embraced Alex tight after a moment he gently pushed her away and looked at her.

"What happened? How's Jane?"

"I- we talked and after that I out her to bed, I- she was fine I swear and when I went to bed I checked on her and…s-she was pale and her lips were blue, I lifted her up and she started to breathe and cry but only for a moment before she had the seizure and then I called the ambulance but they wouldn't let me stay with her! I'm sorry I should have checked sooner" he pulled her back in his arms and stroked over her back.

"It's okay Alex…it's going to be okay, she's going to fine" he kissed her cheek and held her close while she buried her face in his chest and Spencer tried to hold back his own tears.

The waiting which already lasted two hours was torture for them all, the three of them sat on the chairs in the small open waiting room and Spencer held Alex's hand and Emily watched Alex closer, she was all in her thoughts. "Alex…?" she asked quietly "What are you thinking about?".

"I try to remember…I-…did she cry? Was I overhearing her? I wasn't even watching TV and I thought I didn't need the Baby phone, why didn't I take it with me? Did I let my daughter die alone?" Alex said more to herself than to Emily.

"Alex…you couldn't knew, it's not your fault"

"But I was relieved! I…I was relieved that she wasn't crying, that I had a moment for myself and I can't remember straight anymore, what if Jane dies because I was too happy to have time for me that I let her cry? Why didn't I check on her earlier?" at her friends words Emily hugged her.

This wasn't fair, not to anybody but especially not to them, they were supposed to be happy with their daughter, as a family and Jane…her sweet little goddaughter, this wasn't how it was supposed to be she was supposed to live a long happy life with her parents who loved her more than anything.

"Ms. Miller?" a haunted looked Doctor approached them and the three of them jumped up, the look on his face increased their fear even more.

"How's our daughter?" Alex asked immediately and her grip on Spencer's hand tightened as did his.

"She was even more well then we could've expected considered the strong seizure she had, EEG and head CT were normal but that's not why I'm here…I don't know how to tell you but…your daughter has been kidnapped by one of our Doctors." He said first an expression of relief and happiness had washed over their faces but then the worry and fear was all back again.

"What?" asked Spencer, it were the first words he had said in the last ten minutes.

"Yes, I'm so sorry, but the Police is already on their way and we know the Doctor" he answered and in the next second he was fronted by two furious parents and a not less furious godmother.

"Who kidnapped her? Who kidnapped our daughter?" Alex asked in a deadly low tone. The one who had laid a hand on her daughter was doomed to die.

"It was a-a new Doctor we had a month ago because, our staff was shorthanded-"

"The name" growled Reid.

"Dr. James Blake!"

* * *

**Is James going to have the ultimate revenge on Alex and Spencer in hurting Jane? **

**Sorry I for the cliffhanger! **

**crazy CM fan**


	6. Year one III

They stared at the Doctor in front of them, Alex though her heart stopped. James had Jane? He had taken their little girl? Their Baby? After the shock there were two things in their minds, anger and fear. Emily had turned around as soon as she had overcome the first shock and called Hotch.

"Emily, how's Jane doing?" he asked as soon as he had picked up.

"Jane-...the doctors said she is fine, but we have a bigger problem. James, he was employed here and kidnapped her!"

"What?"

"Yes, we need your-" suddenly the phone was snatched out of her hand and Emily turned around, seeing Alex put the phone to her own ear.

"Hotch? I know where he is, go to my old address and sent the police over too."

"Okay" she hung up and started walking towards the elevators. Emily looked at Reid and both hurried after her.

"What are you doing?" Emily asked.

"I'll get my daughter back" she answered without looking at them, now there was less fear and more anger in her voice. She was going to get her baby back and she was going to make him regret that he even laid eyes on Jane.

When they reached her old home the police and their Team were already there, "Hotch?" Alex asked loud when they approached them.

"He locked himself inside the house with a gun and threatens to kill Jane when we come in" he answered and Alex stared at the house where she once had been happy, not as happy as now, but happy. She had lived together with this man, had been in love and though their marriage had ended long before their divorce, she had never thought that he would do something like this to her.

"I want to talk to him" Alex said, they all knew that she would not accept a no, so Hotch called him again.

"James, this is Agent Hotchner, your ex-wife is here and she wants to talk to you...okay, I'll see what I can do" with that he hung up again.

"He said he will only talk to you in person and...if he sees Spencer or if you aren't in there in five minutes, he is going to kill her." Alex turned around and started walking but Emily held her back.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you think? I'm going in! I'll get my daughter back" Alex said and shook her hand off, Spencer looked at her, torn between not letting her inside and getting their daughter out.

"Alex-"

"Aaron...this is my baby in there, my daughter who I nearly lost tonight. I am not going to let him kill Jane, if you try to stop me, I will make you regret it. I swear to god I will make you all pay if my child dies. He can shoot me I don't give a damn, but I won't let him take Jane from me" Alex said and stared him in the eyes. "I won't let him kill my daughter."

"Okay, when something happens we'll come in and there are snipers." he said and she looked at Spencer.

"Promise me to stay away...and no matter what happens, I love you" with that she turned around and walked to the front door, she could hear her daughter crying. When Alex opened the door, she saw him holding her daughter in the one hand and the nine millimeter in the other, pointing it towards Jane's head.

"James..." he stared at her with cold eyes.

"She looks a lot like you...close the door" he said and Alex did as she was told before she turned back to him.

"James...please don't do this okay? Please, she has nothing to do with this, she is innocent. Please let her go, if you are angry at me then be angry but don't let it out on her" Alex said.

"She could have been our daughter, you took that from me." James said still pointing the gun at her crying baby.

"James...before I started seeing Spencer-"

"Don't say his name! The next time she is dead." he hissed and Alex swallowed.

"Okay, but this...we...ended long before him. You wanted the divorce, you threw me on the street, knowing I had nowhere to go. We weren't a good couple and we both weren't happy anymore, so please, I beg you, let me take my daughter and we can talk, just please let me take her" Alex said and tried to ignore the tears in her eyes when she looked at Jane who wreathed in his arms.

"No, you just moved on, you didn't think a second about me, what it meant to learn that the Baby was the Baby of someone else, but that wasn't an excuse for you to just forget everything!"

"You think I forgot everything? James, I spend twenty-three years of my life with you, of which we were married for twenty years, do you really believe I forgot that? I didn't marry you on a whim, I was in love with you. But over the years I realized that we weren't supposed to be together, you loved being away and for a really long time that was okay with me, because I was away too. James, it shouldn't end like this, I don't want this please, they will kill you" she said.

"You...didn't walk away and forgot it all?" he asked his eyes softening a little, it was working, maybe with some more lies she would get Jane.

"Of course not, I cried for days, James I can't tell you that I love you this way, but I shared my life with you! Please give me my daughter please, I thought she had died, please...I'm sorry what I've done to you I really am but, please give me my daughter" she stepped closer and he began to turned the gun away from Jane and nodded.

Alex closed the distance between them and lifted her daughter out of his arms, she pulled her close and embraced her as tight as she could without hurting her baby-girl. She closed her eyes and kissed Jane's forehead. The tears were now running down her cheeks. She couldn't see how he raised the gun.

Then she heard the window shatter and was sprayed in something warm, James fell back and the blood from the hole in his head started to pour around him. Alex only stared at him and then touched her face the blood started to build little rivulets that run down her face and she panted, her eyes widening. They had killed him, she sank down on her knees and held the crying Jane tight in her arms but she couldn't keep her eyes off of his corpse.

She didn't even realize how the door flew opened and how Spencer and Morgan ran inside, first dropped down next to her and embraced her tight while Morgan took Jane gently from her arms.

"Alex! Are you okay?" he asked and turned her away from James's dead body.

"I-I...w-why did they shoot?" she mumbled while he led her outside where the others were, minus Hotch who came down on a sniper like a ton of bricks, because he shot without a command and with her and a Baby inside.

Suddenly Alex whipped her face clean and spun around, "Where is Jane?" she asked and Morgan quickly stepped over handing her Jane over and she got rid of her bloody shirt standing in the cold December night only in a t-shirt but she didn't care as long as her little Jane was with them again. In the next moment she felt a warm, familiar smelling jacked and two arms around her.

Alex leaned into Spencer who stroked over Jane's cheek "We should get her out of the cold and back to the hospital, just to be sure she is okay..." he said and Alex nodded, they walked to a car and Alex didn't look back, she was sad that the man she had spend twenty-three years of her life with, was gone, but she wasn't sad that the man who tried to take her baby from her was dead.

* * *

Spencer was coming home really late tonight, but it had been worth it, he had finished all his reports and could spend Christmas with his family. On his way up he already undress so that he was only in a T-Shirt and his boxers, when Spencer opened the door to the bed room he smiled when he saw Alex tangled up in the sheets on his side of the bed and Jane was probably in the crib next to the bed. When he walked over placing his clothes on a chair in the corner, he saw that he had been right.

Jane was sleeping peacefully sucking at her pacifier and kicking her legs, they had been so happy to learn that she was healthy and that the seizure wasn't going to have any after-effects on her. Spencer leaned down and kissed her cheek, before he stroked his thump over her tummy. He walked back to the bed and lay down next to Alex and laid his arm around her.

Alex stirred a bit and turned around in his arms and laid her head on his chest. "You're home..." she mumbled and nuzzled her face in his chest.

"'Course, can't miss the first Christmas of our daughter and us as family can I?" he said quietly as he closed his eyes.

"Of Course you can't, one of us has to be the silly Dad" she said and he heard her smile and had to smile too.

"Yeah you're right" Spencer answered and sighed ready for sleep to come, he couldn't wait for the next day to come, then remembered something, "Nearly forgot, we're invited over to Rossi's for a Christmas party" he said.

"Mm-Hmm, that's nice" the next minute he knew she hadn't listened and with a smile on his face he fell asleep.

When Alex woke up she was alone in bed, she stretched and got up. Spencer had already picked up Jane so she went down herself, already smelling coffee and breakfast. When Alex stepped in the kitchen she saw him sitting at a well-laid table, humming along with a song on the radio and Jane in his arms.

"Is there anything more sexy than a man with his daughter's drool on his shirt?" she asked and Spencer looked up at her, smiling brightly while he gently bounced Jane up and down with his knee "Merry Christmas" she said and kissed him.

"No, I don't think there is anything sexier than baby drool, good morning and Merry Christmas to you too gorgeous" he said, she leaned down to kiss Jane, who looked up at her cooing and babbling happily reaching out with her little arms. Alex took her in her arms and held her high, causing Jane to giggle loud.

"Yeah your my little girl aren't you? Yes Mommy's little girl" Alex said before she sat her in her baby chair at the table.

"As I think that you weren't really listening last night so, we are invited over for a Christmas party at Rossi's" he said and leaned over to kiss her cheek.

"You didn't say that last night"

"I did, you just fell asleep too fast" she rolled er eyes smiling and took a sip of her tea.

"And when do we have to be there?" she asked.

"Err..."

"Spence?" Alex asked and he grinned.

"Do you really think _I_ forgot it?" he replied "We have to be there around seven" he added and she shook her head, typical Spence, of course he hadn't forgotten he was Spencer Reid. Jane reached over and tugged at her shirt fussing a little.

"Come here Jane" she said and lifted her over to kiss her forehead and then latched her on "Yes, were a good team now aren't we?" Alex whispered and sighed, which caused Reid to frown a little.

"What is it?" he asked.

"She is going to be teething in a while, then this peaceful time is over" she said yawing and brought her leg up against the leg of the table to lay her arm on it which held Jane. Alex looked down and stroked over Jane's dark hair.

She still had nightmares seeing either her baby die or James getting shot, his blood coating her face. Alex blamed herself for what had happened a week ago, at least what had happened to Jane, she hadn't let her out of her sight once since then.

She would have gone to work again after New Years Eve, but nearly loosing her daughter had her ask for a little bit more time, her boss had understood but she had to start in Fabruary. Spencer looked at her and knew what she was thinking.

"Alex, what happened wasn't your fault, I could have happened to me too. You are a great mother" Spencer said and laid his hand on hers.

"I just couldn't forgive myself if something happens to her" she mumbled.

"But Jane is fine Darling" Alex sighed.

"You're right, I'm sorry, I should stop worrying so much" she answered and brought Jane's hand, which had grabbed her finger, up to her mouth to kiss it gently. When Janes was finished Alex sat her back in her baby chair and focused on her own breakfast.

"Do you want to have your present now or later?" Spencer asked smiling and Alex looked at him surprised.

"Present?" he nodded and got up, a moment later he came back with two presents in his hands.

"This is for Jane" he said when Alex raised an eyebrow.

"She's not even four months old, I hope you know she won't know it's a present" she said while opening her own present. She opened the box and gasped when she saw a beautiful necklace. The pendant was round with a sapphire embedded in it, "Spencer-" Alex didn't know what she should say.

"Turn it around" he answered, happy that he had surprised her with the necklace, Alex did as told and tears well in her eyes. On the other side of the pendant the words '_The love between a mother and daughter is forever_' were written around Jane's name and her birth date which were in the center of the pendant.

"Do you like it? Sapphire is Jane's birthstone so I thought you might like that."

"Oh Spence...I don't know what to say, it's beautiful thank you!" Spencer stood and laid it around her neck, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her lips.

"And what did you get Jane?" she asked.

"Open it" the next moment she did and revealed a cute pacifier chain with Jane's name and a ladybug.

"Spence, that's really sweet. But I have something for you too" Alex got up and came back with a quite big present. He smiled when he opened the present and looked at her surprised when he saw that it was a book, and it had only a title 'Book of our Love' he had never heard of it and it had no cover, author or blurb on it.

He opened it and there was a picture of him and Alex looking each other deep in the eyes, he remembered that day it was their first team evening when she had joined and under it stood something in her handwriting. 'From the first moment I met you I couldn't resist the famous Spencer Reid charm and fell in love with you'

He skimmed through the book and saw pictures of the part of her pregnancy he hadn't been with her, ultrasound pictures, the from when she came back, the picture Emily had of them when Jane had been born and the last months. On some pages Alex only had wrote something for him and to nearly every picture.

"I know it's nothing special, I put in as much as I could find, but there is still space I hope you don't mind" she said but Spencer pulled her into a hug and kissed her.

"Alex, it's perfect" he said and Alex smiled "And if there is still space, than that's okay, we can fill it in no time. It really is the perfect gift thank you"

* * *

"I still think it's silly...and why do you have to get our daughter into this too?" asked Alex as they walked up to Rossi's front door.

"Because this is going to be mine and Jane's Christmas tradition!" Spencer defended his and Jane's Santa hat.

"So your only doing this now, because she is too young to complain." she pulled the fluffy pompom of Jane's Santa hat from her daughters mouth and stroked over Jane's cheek and smiled at her baby girl when she looked up at her.

"Yes, and admit that you think she looks cute with the hat."

"I never said she didn't, but you look just ridiculous Spence" Alex said when he rang the door bell, he wiggled his eyebrows and Alex giggled before she pulled him down for a kiss, just in that moment the door opened and Rossi sighed.

"Get a room you two, oh and who's that under the Santa hat? My you've grown so much Jane" he pulled a funny face and Jane stopped munching on the pompom of her had she had pulled to her mouth again and laughed at her uncle Rossi. He lifted her out of Alex's arms for a moment and kissed her cheek.

"Merry Christmas Peanut! And Merry Christmas to you two too" Jane started to fuss a little and pouted while reaching for Alex again with her little arms, so Rossi quickly handed her back. They walked in and saw the others sitting or standing around in Rossis living room.

"Savannah these are Alex and Spencer and their daughter Jane, my Goddaughter" Morgans said to the beautiful woman standing next to him who gave them a bright and kind smile.

"Hello, nice to meet you!" she said and held out her hand to them and both Reid and Alex shook it.

"Hi, nice to meet you too" Alex said and passed Jane over to Morgan who had already held his arms out for her.

"Yes there is my little peanut! I missed you!" he said and kissed her cheek he then tickled her tummy and she started laughing loud.

"Oh, she's adorable how old is she?" Savannah asked and shook Jane's hand who looked a little surprised at her before laughing again.

"Nearly four months" Spencer answered smiling.

"Really? Wow you look great, from your look she could be six months" Savannah said and you could hear that she meant it and that she wasn't being sarcastic or kissing up to her. Alex blushed a bit and Spencer grinned before kissing her.

"See I told you."

"That doesn't count Spence" JJ said from behind him and greeted her friends, next to them Morgan carefully passed Jane over to Savannah.

"Watch out she-" but Alex warning came to late Jane had already grabbed a fist full of Savannahs hair and pulled, causing the woman to wince. "Oh Janie, sorry she has a thing with pulling hair of people she doesn't know," Alex said and gently freed Savannah from Jane's grip "Usually she stops but you might want to put your hair a little back" she said.

"That's okay, you really are a little cutie pie aren't you? Yes!" the others smiled, Jane had once again wrapped someone around her little finger. Everybody got to hold Jane again and just when they wanted to eat Jane started to cry as if she knew that now was dinner time or everyone.

"That sounds strongly like the 'I am hungry feed me now!" edition" JJ said and placed her in Alex's arms who already sat down and started to nurse her. Henry squeezed a chair in next to Alex and his mom so he could keep an eye on Jane as soon as she was finished with her dinner.

"Aunt Alex can I put Jane in her bassinet?" he asked and Alex smiled.

"Sure you can Henry, be careful" she placed sleepily Jane in Henry's arms and Will quickly took a picture of his son carefully carrying Jane over to he bassinet Rossi had only bought for her. After the delicious dinner composed of the different things everyone had brought they sat around in the living room and Reid pulled Alex close as they cuddled on the sofa.

"This is perfect" Alex mumbled and kissed him, he smiled down at her. He loved her so much and this really was perfect, Alex, Jane, their family Spencer couldn't be more happier in his life. Reid loved her so much and he just had to do it now. He got up and walked over towards Jane and thanks to JJ talking with Alex he managed to change her simple red onesie, with the one he had bought recently.

He then walked back and sat down next to Alex, thinking about how he could get her to get Jane without getting suspicious and the others not seeing before her. "Hey what about a picture of us all?" he suggested.

"Yeah, good idea!" Emily said and they all stood up to stand together.

"You gonna get Jane?" Reid asked and Alex nodded walking over he watched how she smiled and then how she froze and he could see her mouth the words printed on the onesie. Alex turned around and looked at him, now the others seemed to notice that something was going on.

"Alex are you okay?" Hotch asked.

"Are you serious?" she asked looking at Spencer not paying attention to anyone else in the room. Spencer walked across the room and took her hand.

"I'm walking around and delaying this since the day you came back and now I just can't do this anymore, I love you Alex and you gave me Jane, I can't imagine my life without you, I finally have a real family, with you I'm finally complete so…" he got down on one knee and held out the ring to her, that he had carried around for months. "Will you marry me?" to say the others were surprised was the understatement of the year, both Emily's and Morgans mouths fell to the floor and Garcia squealed happily.

Tears well in Alex's eye's and for a moment she couldn't say anything, then she pulled him up to stand and scared Reid like hell in doing so. Then she smiled at him "Yes...yes! I love you Spencer!" she said and Spencer who, besides at Jane's birth, had never been so happy in his life, quickly slipped the ring on her finger. He then kissed Alex passionately and embraced her tight while the others cheered and clapped.

"I wanna see the ring!" said Penelope loudly and already snatched Alex's hand away from Spencer's waist and looked at the ring. He was simply out of white gold and a round cut sapphire was ebbed in it, it was beautiful simple, too simple for Garcia's taste, but for Alex it was perfect.

"Oh it's beautiful" Garcia cooed and in the next second JJ, Emily and Savannah looked at it too.

"Wow...it really suits you!" JJ commented the engagement ring.

"Yes, you have out done yourself Spence!" Emily said and then hugged Alex and Spencer. "Congratulation you two!" then everyone else congratulated them and for some minutes it seemed like Spencer and Alex were in a constant goupe hug by the team.

"Hey why did you look like you have seen a ghost earlier?" Morgan asked, Alex smiled and Spencer chuckled.

"Because he dressed Jane up!" Alex said and picked up her daughter and then turned her so they could all read what stood in dark blue letters on her white onesie '_Mommy will you marry my Daddy?'_

"You really are a genius" Hotch said smiling and Will, the photographer of the evening, took a picture of Alex and Jane.

"So are you going to be a Reid?" JJ asked wiggling her eyebrows.

"Of course!...well if you-" Spencer answered for his fiancè and then realized that maybe Alex had other plans.

"Why wouldn't I? I would love to be Alex Reid, as our daughter is also a Reid, I think it would be only fair" she answered and kissed him smiling.

"I love you, soon going to be Mrs. Alex Reid" Alex smiled up at her fiancè and stood on her toes to kiss him.

"I love you too." she answered and Spencer laid his arm around her and Jane, whom he lifted up in his arms.

"You were perfect Janie, Mommy is going to marry Daddy thank you sweetie" he kissed Jane's forehead and Alex did the same.

When Alex had met Spencer those five years ago she would've never thought that he would get her out of her unhappier marriage, that they would start an affair when she was finally back in the BAU, would get pregnant, have her beautiful little Jane and marry the good looking, intelligent, loveable and funny man, who stumbled through her class.

* * *

**So Jame is gone! I hope you enjoyed the chapter and the proposal, if you think it was too fast after James' death, their nearly a year divorced, he kidnapped their daughter and threatened to kill her ;)**

**Leave a Review! Thanks!**

**crazy CM fan**


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